


Save Me (And I Will Save You)

by EIectricScarIet



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Also so much smut, Angst, BDSM, Canon Compliant, Choking, Closer to Dub-Con Actually, Depression, Dom/sub, F/M, Female Reader, Fluff, From Reyes to Reaper, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Light Bondage, Love, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, POV First Person, Past Brainwashing, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reader-Insert, Romance, Rough Sex, Smut, So much angst, Spanking, heavily inspired by teddy bear by melanie martinez, slight sugar daddy implications
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-03-01 05:23:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13287903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EIectricScarIet/pseuds/EIectricScarIet
Summary: Gabriel Reyes was your soulmate. You loved him with all your heart, and he loved you just as much. Your relationship was so happy and wholesome... but everything became so frightening when his transition from Reyes to Reaper began.You can't help but grieve him when he is killed in the HQ explosion. As far as you knew, you lost your true love.But you find that there is more to the situation than meets the eye. And your former lover is back to find you, except his intentions with you are seemingly ambiguous...





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiya! this fic is basically gonna be a bunch of flashbacks leading up to the main focus of the story, giving a little bit of context and feeling to the relationship. then when we get to the smutty stuff, it'll be more of a linear storyline. see the end of the chapter for more!

Most people love Saturdays. It’s a fair assumption; Saturdays are when everyone goes out and parties until they black out, or spends their night with their friends or lover (or lovers, if polyamory is your thing). It’s a fairly omnipresent routine for most people to save their Saturdays for doing what they loved. Whether it was going out with family or sleeping all day, it was a usually relaxed day for the general public.

For me, Saturdays were the exact opposite. Saturdays were a day of mourning.

It was merely a crucial part in the toxic vicious cycle that was my life, and had been for a solid six months. Wake up on a Monday, stumble to my shitty job where I was stuck in a cubicle for eight hours, then I’d make my way home, smoke, and go to sleep. Repeat until Friday. On Friday night came my own special therapy. Go out to some hole-in-the-wall bar, get piss drunk and find some poor sod’s bed to warm for the night. Next morning, I’d go home and spend the rest of the day drinking through my hangover and resulting sense of shame from what I’d done the night before. Pass out. Wake up on Sunday morning and nurse myself through the day. And then do it all over again.

It was like my own special recipe for disaster, but it was all I knew.

As a matter of fact, Saturdays have a special routine of their own for me. It’s fairly simple; grab a glass, fill, empty, stare, and start again from the ‘fill’ step.  
Staring into an empty glass wasn’t a good look for me, I’d noticed.

Hair a mess, eyes rimmed with red and smudged black, and tear streaks adorning my puffy cheeks. No, it wasn’t a good look at all, I decided as I glanced into the bleary eyes of my distorted reflection staring at me from the glass and smudges of whiskey still left over.

Whiskey used to be Gabe’s favourite. That’s why I save it for Saturdays.

The ring of my doorbell was an unexpected intrusion on my silent repetition of my sob story. It took me a few moments to process that someone was actually coming to see me, and social norms suggested that I’d have to get up and greet them, all the while maintaining an air of respectability.

 _Fuck social norms,_ I mused somewhat resentfully as I dragged myself to the door. I ran a hand through my hair to smooth it down before opening the door. Lo and behold, it was Angela. As far as I knew, she had moved back to Switzerland after… the thing.

She had a smile on her face when I opened the door, but the moment she met my gaze, it turned into a sad, sympathetic smile. “Hiya, Angie.” I offered a lacklustre smile that could better be described as a slight upturn of my lips. “I would offer for you to come in, but honestly you’ll probably regret it in about five minutes.” Despite that, I stood aside and gestured for her to come in.

“Oh, (Y/N)…” Her voice was dripping with pity. And dammit, it felt nice to be pitied. Everything hurt. She pulled me in for a hug, and my somewhat wry smile dropped. Oh god, it felt really nice to be pitied. _I thought I stopped crying half an hour ago,_ I numbly pondered as I felt my tears surge forward again. I buried my head in her shoulder as my own shoulders slumped. One hand gently patted my back, and the other nursed my head.

I don’t know how long we stood like that before I realised I was probably getting tears all over that lovely coat of hers. “I’m sorry, please come in.” My voice lacked the sardonic, self-pitying tone it had possessed moments earlier, and I turned to let her through the narrow doorway to my apartment. I closed the door behind her as she walked in, slowly taking in the mess that was now my home. I grabbed some tissues out of the box sitting on the coffee table and pushed my laptop and unnecessary amount of blankets (which, for some reason, were there) aside to give her some space to sit on my futon.

“I thought you’d moved back to Switzerland,” I said quietly, sitting on the armchair beside the futon. She sat down, placing her handbag beside her.

“Yes, I had.” She told me. “I’m back in the area for a little while and I thought I’d check in.” Her eyes darted to the half empty bottle of whiskey and the empty glass beside it, then to the “decorative tobacco” pipe. “Which I was obviously right in doing.”

“Yeah, I’m… not doing so great.” I responded, attempting to toss my tissues into the nearby bin and failing.

“You miss him.” She said quietly, her eyes filled with sorrow.

“Yeah. I really miss him.” I affirmed just as quietly. “The time has done nothing to soothe that.”

She simply reached over and patted my knee. “It’s okay to be hurting,” she told me. “You don’t need to cover that up with alcohol and drugs. In fact, that’s very detrimental to your health.”

“Ha, it’s not that I’m ashamed of hurting.” I responded with a sardonic chuckle. “It’s that I don’t want a reality where Gabe isn’t around.”

Angela said nothing.

That was probably best; there was nothing she could say that would change the fact that the man who was my lover, my best friend and my hero was dead.

\- 15 years earlier -

I was so lucky when Overwatch came. They didn't come specifically for me, but for the gang that had taken me. From what I’d heard them saying, they planned to starve me until I looked pitiful and send me out into cities to scam people out of their money. I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to go home to my parents.

There was a boy not much older than me. He seemed to be a good person; he’d sneak in food for me when the other members of the gang weren’t looking. He told me secrets; he told me he was trapped there, too, but not because he was kidnapped. Because he made bad choices.

I was trapped there for three weeks when Overwatch raided their hideout. I had a bag over my head when I came in, so I had no idea where we were. I only knew that they’d found me stealing what was apparently theirs in San Francisco. I heard the yelling and gunfire from my cell. I was so scared that they wouldn’t find me, and I’d be left to die. Once the gunfire quietened, I yelled out for help.

And then he came.

He was younger back then. He didn’t have the resting angry face that he later possessed, and his hair was shorter. But I would recognise that voice anywhere after I heard it. He spoke gently to me. “I’m gonna get you out of there and take you home, don’t you worry, sweetheart.”

I practically fell in love in that very moment.

Of course, I was only a child of 12. But that didn’t matter to me. As he broke through the lock and carried me out in his strong arms, I felt so giddy and safe. As he passed me over to the medics, I whispered in my cracked, weak voice: “You’re my hero.”

He simply smiled.

-

It wasn’t until 10 years later, after I graduated from high school and went into university, that I saw him again at a bar.  
He didn’t look a day older than the first time I saw him, and no less angelic. Of course, I felt a different kind of way when I laid eyes on him again. Oh yes, my 12 year old self wouldn’t have nearly comprehended those feelings.

I so, SO badly wanted to go up to him and talk to him. But I was too shy. What if he didn’t remember me? What if I had to explain that he dragged my 12 year old ass out of a prison cell and I deliriously called him my hero? What if I have to tell him that I remembered him because I had a little girl crush?  
However, after a few drinks and some goading from my friends, I finally worked up the courage to approach him on shaky legs.

He was at a table with a few other people. A slightly taller man with blond hair, a man with a cowboy hat for some fucking reason who looked oddly familiar, someone who had everything but their eyes covered by clothing of different varieties, and a pretty foreign woman with a tattoo under her eye. They were all drop dead gorgeous (even the one whose eyes were the only visible thing about them), but I only had eyes for Gabriel.

Upon my arrival, the cowboy hat man, as I had decided to call him, nudged Gabriel and murmured something. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest as I nervously peered up at him. He turned his gaze to me and oh boy, thank the lord that my friends had stuffed me into a cute dress for the night out. Initially I was disgruntled, but now I was very grateful as his eyes dropped down to my legs and dragged back up my body.

“Um,” I murmured before clearing my throat and raising my voice above the din. “Hi, uh. I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m sure you’ll remember the day about 10 years ago… where you saved my life… yeah.” I felt unspeakably awkward, but despite that, his face immediately lit up. Even to this day, I will never get tired of seeing his expression go from neutral (or at least, his perpetually pissed off version of neutral, that’s just how he is) to a grinning goofball. If only I knew how rapidly his goofball side would decline until it was simply not there anymore, I would’ve cherished seeing it more.

He turned to the cowboy hat man and said, “Jesse, this is the girl we rescued from your old friends.”

“No way, really?” Cowboy hat man (who, even though I now knew his name was Jesse, was still cowboy hat man to me) squinted before grinning. “Wow, ya look different, sweetheart. So you survived.”

“Yeah,” my smile quickly began to mirror theirs, and a few heartfelt thank-you’s later, I timidly asked if I could hug them. Cowboy hat man, or Jesse, was the first to sweep me up into a big bear hug, whilst Gabriel hung back for a moment. But when he eventually stepped forward and fulfilled my request, my heart almost leapt into my throat. Especially when he rested one hand on the small of my back and the other on the back of my head. Needless to say, a great deal more intimate than Jesse’s hug. And I didn’t mind that in the slightest.

“So,” he murmured in my ear, sending a jolt down my spine with his rumbling, husky tone. “Can I buy you a drink?”  
Just two hours later, we ended up back at my apartment in a mutually drunk horny mess of limbs. I would love to call that night the best night of my life, but I’ve had so many of those with him that I can’t simply pin it down to one night.

It made it so much sweeter when he stayed afterwards, and I woke up in his arms. With a smirk on his face, he said, “morning, sweetheart. Nice night?”  
With a silly grin, I responded. “Bit of an understatement, actually.”

That day, we went on our first date. We immediately clicked, and I had never felt so comfortable with anyone before. Every date I’d been on didn’t nearly compare to the day I spent with him. He completed me.

If only I knew that years later, it would all crumble and fall through my fingers as his true colours were revealed.

-

“Honey, I’m home!” My sing-song voice rang out through the apartment as I pushed the door closed behind me. I tossed my bag onto the couch and peeked into the kitchen. Gabe wasn’t there. Strange, he said he’d have dinner ready by the time I got home. 

He hadn’t called out and answered me, either. Even more strange. I didn’t hear the shower running either, and his car keys were on the bench. Should I be worried? 

I checked in the laundry to find that he wasn’t there either. He wasn’t on the balcony; I could see through the sliding door. So… that left the bathroom and the bedroom.

Somewhat cautiously, I tiptoed through the lounge room towards the door to the en suite. Suddenly an arm wrapped around my waist and a hand covered my mouth, yanking me into the kitchen. I felt my heart literally jump out of my body for a moment, until he whispered in my ear. “Surprise.” When he let me go, I spun away from him and attempted to punch him in the arm, which he easily blocked.

“Fucking hell!” I chuckled breathlessly. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, babe.” He pulled me in for a hug, planting a kiss on my forehead. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. “Happy anniversary,” he murmured before going in to kiss my lips. I happily received it.

“Happy anniversary to you too, baby.” I said once we broke apart. “How did you get into the kitchen?” I asked, because apparently that was a priority.

“You went into the laundry, so I went from our room to the kitchen.” I watched as he turned from Gabe to Commander Reyes in front of me. “You know you should always-“

“Check every room from front to back so I don’t get ambushed. Yes, sir.” I teasingly trailed my hand down his chest, leaning up for a kiss. I knew that word was one of his weak spots. He caught my hand and smirked.

“Oh, you’re not getting off that easily. You displayed poor tactical skill.” He effortlessly spun me around, crossing my own arms over my chest and restricting me.

“So…?” I asked, playfully pushing my ass up against his groin.

“So…” He seemed unperturbed despite my deliberate attempt to rile him up. “Maybe you don’t deserve a position as Overwatch’s head techie…”

“Rude!” I gasped, feigning hurt. “You hired me!”

“Actually, Morrison did. Hence you work for him, not me. Otherwise that would be against protocol.”

“Not that you’d mind, depraved old bastard.”

“Look who’s talking.”

I huffed irritably. “Are you gonna keep talking, or are we taking this to the bedroom? That’s where this is going, right?”

“Later, babe.” I let out an impatient whine and pouted. He finally released me, but not before planting a kiss to the top of my head. “We’re going out to dinner first. Go put on that black dress I bought you last week.”

“And the necklace?”

“And the necklace.”

Without another word, I made for the bedroom with a skip in my step.

I got ready as quickly as I could. My makeup was still looking okay from work, so all I really had to worry about was getting dressed and doing my hair. I peeled off my blue Overwatch uniform, switching my comfortable underwear for less comfortable but more sexy matching black lace. I even went so far as to put on stockings. Next came the dress, which was a long, beautiful thing that Gabriel picked out just for me. It fit like a glove, and even I had to admit that it was a good look for me.

As I was picking out my shoes, there was a gentle knock at the door. “You may enter,” I called out. His only response was a chuckle. I hunkered down to pick up the shoes I decided would go best, slipping them on before standing up to face him. “How do I look?”

He examined me with a quick up and down glance, letting out an appreciative murmur. “Mmm, hermosa.” He complimented, pulling me into a tender kiss. As he pulled away, he gently brushed a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “Just missing one thing, though…” He turned me around to face the vanity, snagging the delicate diamond necklace (also a gift from him) from the table and brushing my hair away from my neck. He did up the clasp before wrapping his arms around me and promptly pressing his lips to my neck. With a soft murmur of pleasure, I leaned into his strong frame.

“You look so beautiful. What did I ever do to deserve you?” He whispered into my ear. I gave a soft laugh.

“Saved my life, continuing to give me the best fucking in my 23 years of existence. Also, you’re kinda cool I suppose.” That earned a smack on the ass, to which I giggled. “Ah ah, don’t tempt me. You know I could just blow you right now and we’d be stuck here all night.”

“You’re damn right.” He planted one more kiss on my neck before pulling my hair out of its low ponytail gently and running his fingers through it. “But you won’t do that. You like getting spoiled by me too much.”

After helping him get into my favourite suit and tie of his, we exited the apartment and made our way to the garage. He opened the passenger door for me, as he always did, and I happily got into the car.

As he drove to the restaurant of his choice, I simply reflected on how lucky I was to have found him. Not only did he save my life, but he made me so unspeakably happy. Part of me was hoping he would propose that night, because I would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.

He didn’t propose, but the lovely dinner and fucking of a lifetime that he gave me made up for it. The past year with him had been absolutely amazing.

Unfortunately, that was not to last. Not after Moira O’Deorain came to town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hi hello! thank you for taking the time to read the first chapter of this fuckfest (literally). I hope you stick with me through the journey of bringing this fic to completion!
> 
> this is quite unbeta'd and probably really bad, I'm posting it at 5:20am but HEY its all good! it'll get better in terms of plot and quality, trust
> 
> anyway, please lemme know what you think, and I hope y'all have a lovely day!


	2. Chapter 2

“How goes the work, Agent?”

Gabriel – Commander Reyes, as I had to call him at work, leered over my desk, peering down at me with a smirk. I glanced up at him and rolled my eyes.

“Don’t you have, like, an entire other outfit to run?” I asked, returning my gaze to the screen.

“I asked you a question first. And I expect you to refer to me using the proper title.”

“I am currently rewriting the first firewall, which is a bloody important job to keep our data safe, _Commander_. What brings you from your high horse in Blackwatch to come visit a lowly techie, _Commander?_ ”

“You’re cheeky,” he leaned down and planted a kiss on my cheek. “Keep up the hard work.”

“Oh, save it for our apartment.” I rolled my eyes but still couldn’t keep the silly grin off my face. “You still didn’t answer my question, though.”

“What, a man can’t visit his lovely girlfriend every once in a while?”

“Gabe, we _live_ together.”

“That’s Commander Reyes to you, Agent.”

“You do realise that literally anyone could walk into my office right now and see us?”

“So?” He sounded surprisingly nonchalant about that. “You don’t work for me, you work for Morrison.”

“But you still demand that I refer to you as Commander?”

“Well, yes, because that _is_ my status.”

“Can I get back to work now?” I gave a sigh and turned my head to face him. The cheeky fucker was grinning. 

After a long silence in which I glared at him and he smirked at me, he finally said, “I permit that.”

“Great, thanks.” I turned back to my computer, trying to find out where I was up to in writing the code. A part of me was slightly irritated at his interruption, but glad that he wanted to come visit.

I found out later that night, after I got home, that he’d been rushed away on an emergency mission. I hadn’t been told the specifics, since it was above my paygrade, but I was sure Gabe would tell me when he got home… eventually.

Two days passed before I saw him again. He returned home during the night with bandages and bruises, which wasn’t an unusual sight. After all, it was merely an occupational hazard that he had to deal with, given he was the commander of Blackwatch.

I wasn’t asleep when he came home. I had just finished an episode of an old TV show that I liked when I heard the door unlock. I wasn’t particularly scared for his safety because I knew he could handle himself, but I still felt a rush of relief when he came through the door.

“Hey babe,” I practically jumped off the couch, careful to avoid his bandages as I embraced him. “Missed you. How was the mission?” He didn’t return my embrace.

“Gerard Lacroix was murdered.” His voice was flat. “We couldn’t save him, and we couldn’t find the Talon bitch that killed him either.”

“Oh my god,” my arms fell to my side and I pulled away, stunned. Gerard was a leading player in the fight against Talon, so it was common knowledge that many attempts were made on his life. But he’d survived them all. How did this happen? “I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah. I am too.” He brushed past me, pulling off his beanie and starting to undo his Blackwatch uniform as he walked into our bedroom. With a soft sigh, I followed him. Gabe was only ever in this mood after a mission if he felt guilty.

“Babe, it wasn’t your fault,” I tried to soothe him in vain. He simply grunted, his back facing me as he stripped himself of his uniform. “Please… don’t shut me out. Not tonight.”

“I’m sorry, I just…” He sighed, turning to face me. “We’ve lost someone irreplaceable from our ranks. I don’t know what this will mean for Overwatch.”

“We’ll be okay! He is irreplaceable, and we’ll all miss him. But we can’t let this get in the way of our goal.” I implored with my eyes, pleading him to let me in. “We can work through this as an organisation. Don’t worry, okay?”

“I’ll try. Thank you, sweetheart.” He pulled me in and kissed me on the forehead. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, no wonder. Do you want anything to drink before we go to bed?” I asked, gazing up at him.

“No, no thank you. I just want to sleep.” That was fair; he looked and sounded exhausted.

“Okay, baby. I’ll come to bed too.”

Within minutes, we were curled up together in our double bed. His fingers languidly ran through my hair as I snuggled into his chest, until eventually his hands slowed and his breathing took on a gentle rhythm. He was so warm… and I felt so safe as he held me close, even in sleep.

Despite the grave news, I slept very well that night.

-

“What the fuck do you _mean_ , you hired Moira fucking O’Deorain?”

That name was notorious within the ranks of Overwatch. Not that I was particularly in the right area of science to know what she had really done wrong, but Angela had given me a brief explanation.

Basically: not fucking good. She had some questionable views on genetic enhancement, which was all well and good. I mean, Gabriel himself had abilities from genetic enhancement from the SEP. But that was nothing compared to what she had suggested in her paper. She was so resolute in making scientific discoveries as fast as possible that she didn’t care what it took.

And Gabriel had brought her right into our midst.

“Relax,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and turning away from me. “I needed someone who is informed on genetics.”

“What about Angela? What about Ana? What about _literally anyone else?_ ” I practically screeched. His words did nothing to soothe me, since the way he referred to their new recruit suggested they’d be working in close quarters. _Why the fuck does he want her help? **What the fuck is she going to do to him?**_

“They… aren’t prepared to do what O’Deorain is.” His only excuse was pathetic. My hands felt like jelly, so I simply had to drop my bag, turn on my heel and run my hands through my hair. _What the fuck is he thinking?_ I whirled back to face him, taking a step towards him. 

“You mean, you want to go against protocol? That’s what you want to do?” I exclaimed furiously. “You are putting not only Overwatch, but your life in danger. She’s a fucking psycho! You-“

Suddenly my words were cut off and the breath was knocked out of me. Gabriel’s hand fastened around my collar and before I knew it, he was driving me back against the wall. Were this not happening in the middle of a screaming match, it would’ve been hot.

But I was afraid.

I was so afraid.

“Who, out of the two of us, is the fucking Commander?” He shouted, tightening his grip on my collar to emphasize. I wanted to run. I wanted to cry. I’d never seen him this livid before, which is saying a lot. During our year and a half of being in a relationship, he’d never shouted at me. At least not in anger.

Despite my fear, I managed to crack a grin. “ _My_ Commander is Jack, dear.”

That was the last straw. His hand fastened around my throat, cutting off my air supply. Immediately my heart leapt into my throat, and I could feel it thumping inside my head. God, I could feel everything thumping everywhere. _Oh no. Not now._

“You disrespectful fucking brat!” He hissed, pushing into me harder. “I have done more for that organisation than anyone, and you talk to me like _you’re_ in charge? You’re pathetic.” When all I could do was struggle for air, he let out a chuckle. An evil chuckle. “Not so tough now, huh?”

And there came the tears.

I managed to wheeze out the fragments of a ‘please, Gabriel’, and suddenly as our gazes met, he came to his senses. His grip on my throat loosened and I fell back, my hand flying to my chest. How did one breathe again?

In, out. In, out. Just in and out. It wasn’t that complicated.

My world was so focused on breathing properly that I barely noticed Gabe’s fist fly into the wall. I did notice when he came and wrapped me up in his arms, picking me up off the floor and holding me close to his chest. Despite the fact that he had just terrified me, I was still grateful to have someone to hold me.

“Oh my god, babe, I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” He took me into our bedroom, placing me on the bed. He ran a hand through his hair, muttering angrily, before grabbing the water bottle sitting on the bedside table and pushing it into my grasp. “Drink. I’ll be back with some tissues.”

Before I could whisper a thank-you, he was out the door again.

I clutched the bottle to my chest like it was the only lifeline I had. Things were moving so fast inside my own head that I couldn’t properly pin down what was driving this panic attack. It was over; he had apologised. He wasn’t holding me to the wall and yelling anymore.

I wasn’t afraid of him… was I? No… he was my hero. That would be absurd.

He returned with a box of tissues and my favourite throw rug, passing me the tissues and wrapping the throw rug around me. I rasped a thank-you and grasped the blanket, pulling it tighter around me. He gently placed an arm around me and planted a kiss on the top of my head.

“Oh… _mi alma_ …” He whispered, cradling me in his arms. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay-“ I was barely finished with the sentence before he interrupted.

“No! It’s not okay. Please don’t say it’s okay.” His grip grew tighter, but this time it wasn’t intended to make me afraid; in fact rather the opposite. I simply leaned into him. I didn’t want to forgive him, but I had no one else to hold me. He was my hero… wasn’t that what heroes did?

I never forgot how terrified I was of him that night. At least, until the day he managed to strike so much fear into my heart that the first glimpse seemed like a child’s tantrum in comparison.

But that man wasn’t truly Reyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, second chapter only one day after releasing the first? who am I
> 
> hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll admit, the fast pace of this fic isn't really my usual style. but I'm just eager to get to the main focus of the story.
> 
> please leave a review, and I hope you have a lovely day!


	3. Chapter 3

Things hadn’t been the same between Gabriel and I since our fight. Of course, we’d had brief squabbles in the past, but they weren’t about anything huge. And it wasn’t anything that good make-up sex couldn’t fix. But this… this felt so different to a petty spat. It felt like I saw a new Gabriel that night.

I didn’t like it.

Every time I passed Moira in the facility, she’d offer me one of those cold, calculating smiles. You know, the one where she’d smile politely enough that I’d look like the asshole if I didn’t return it, but it was thinly veiling her distaste.

“Agent (L/N),” she’d greet me.

“Agent O’Deorain,” I’d respond in an equally frigid tone.

It was safe to say that tensions were high between us.

But that was just because she was a bitch, right?

Right?

When I brought up my concern with Gabriel, he told me not to worry about it. He said she was helping Blackwatch massively, and I was being petty by not putting aside my differences with her. He didn’t listen to me when I told him that I just _knew_ she hated me as much, if not more than I hated her.

But whatever, I just had to put up with it.

If only I knew back then that she was slowly working her dainty, prissy fingers inside my Gabe’s mind and fucking everything up.

All in the name of “science”.

_Fuck_ Moira. 

After our fight, both Gabriel and I would stay at work for longer than necessary. Him more so than I, which made me incredibly uneasy. While he was out at HQ doing god knows what with that Irish bitch, I was cradling myself at home, thinking all kinds of things.

_What if he’s cheating on me?_

_What if he loves her now?_

_What if she’s manipulated him into loving her?_

_What if he’s just using his meetings with Moira as an excuse to cheat on me with someone else?_

_Someone like Ana?_

_Ana is gorgeous._

_Or Angela._

_They’ve always been close._

_Hell, what if he’s bisexual?_

_What if he’s hooking up with Morrison?_

_Oh, don’t be stupid, he doesn’t like Morrison much anymore._

_Jesse, then? Or maybe even Genji._

Round and round in circles we went, my thoughts and I.

He would always come home whenever I was asleep and climb into bed with me. Then he was gone when I woke. Or maybe he spent every night at work without coming home. How was I to know?

One thing was for sure though; our lack of contact was fucking tearing me apart. I couldn’t live like that. He’d been all around the globe on his Blackwatch missions while I had to stay in the HQ and work on the technical end, but even then I felt closer to him than what I did during that period.

Until one day.

I arrived at work, alone, as was the norm during that time. I was feeling as empty as ever, and I wasn’t ready for another day of barely seeing the man I loved and slaving my ass off for the organisation he (partially) ran.

But when I arrived at my office, there was a vase filled with gorgeous flowers of different varieties. Dahlias, orchids, violets and other flowers I didn’t recognise. My heart flooded with joy. Someone went out of their way to buy all of these flowers just for me. And judging by the note that was left beside it, that someone was Gabe.

_(Y/N),_

_I’m sorry I haven’t paid enough attention to you lately. Come meet me in the training yard at 9:30. I’ve gotten both of us the day off since we’ve done so much overtime, so we can spend some time together._

_I love you so much, mi reinita. ___

__It was signed off with his signature. By the time I finished reading, my sullen expression morphed into a huge grin. Suddenly everything around me seemed so much brighter, and I folded the note nicely and put it back underneath the vase before grabbing my bag and hurrying to the training yard._ _

__As I approached the massive door to the yard, I thanked my lucky stars that I didn’t run into Moira on the way. _That_ would’ve turned my mood back to sour._ _

__“Good morning, Agent (L/N). Looking chipper today!” The robotic yet somehow comforting voice of Athena greeted me as I came close to the door._ _

__“Hello, Athena. I am feeling good, yeah. Mind opening up for me?” I responded._ _

__“Of course. Have a good training session, and remember to hydrate yourself frequently and take rests when feeling fatigued.”_ _

__“Thanks, Athena. Will do.” Even though I wasn’t sure I’d be training, it was still heart-warming._ _

__The door (which bore the insignia of Overwatch on it) slowly opened, and I stepped outside into the fresh morning air. There, on a bench, sat Gabriel. I dropped my bag promptly and hurried over to him._ _

__“Good morning, baby.” He greeted me, standing up to wrap me in a tight hug. My eyelids fluttered closed, and I relished the feeling of being near him again._ _

__“Good morning.” I snuggled into his chest, burying my face in his Blackwatch chest piece. It was not particularly comfortable, but I didn’t care. The yard was silent as he held me, and wow, was that just the thing I needed. It almost made me feel giddy with relief. Scratch almost; it _definitely_ made me feel giddy with relief. “The flowers were gorgeous.”_ _

__“Just like you,” he murmured. I could almost hear his smirk, and I let out a huff of laughter._ _

__“You’re _soooo_ smooth.” I rolled my eyes, but held him even tighter. “You’re not so bad yourself, you know.”_ _

__“Oh, I do know.”_ _

__“Alright now grandpa,” I pulled away from him to grin mischievously at him. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”_ _

__“Grandpa, is it?” Within a moment, he took my footing out from underneath me and without letting me fall over and hurt myself, pinned me to the ground. He held my arms above my head with one hand, leaving me defenseless. _Fuck._ “Could a grandpa do that?”_ _

__“A grandpa with SEP, yes.” I retorted. Aha! I was not entirely defenseless after all. He left my legs unchecked. I pushed his legs apart with mine and attempted to slip between them, but he quickly stopped me by pinning my legs down with his knees. “Ow, ow, ow! Kneecaps hurt!” I howled, wriggling even more._ _

__“Is that a tap?”_ _

__“Yes, yes it’s a fucking tap!” He chuckled and released me, falling back onto his haunches as I propped myself up on one arm._ _

__“Am I still a grandpa?” Gabe asked, an eyebrow raised._ _

__“Maaaaybe.” I answered, a smirk playing on my lips._ _

__“Could a grandpa do this?” This time, he reached over and pulled me onto his lap, capturing my lips as he did so. This kiss wasn’t the usual pecks we’d give each other in the rare moments we were at home at the same time. This was filled with all the pent up emotions that we’d been keeping from each other over the few weeks prior. It was intense and rough. Almost immediately his hands gripped my waist and instinctively my arms locked around his neck, pulling him even closer to me. In the back of my mind, it occurred to me that anyone could walk out here and see us making out like there was no tomorrow. But the rest of my mind forced it to the backburner, because _fuck_ I needed this._ _

__His hands slipped underneath my shirt, gripping at my bare skin. Thankfully I wasn’t decked out in armour like him since I was just a techie. His calloused hands felt so gratifying against my soft skin. I leaned into his touch, wishing I could get my hands on him as well._ _

__I don’t know how long we stayed like that. When we eventually separated, he leaned back in and murmured in my ear, “you’ll get more of that later on. You can be sure of that.”_ _

__“Alright,” I replied somewhat breathlessly, “you can consider yourself not a grandpa – _if_ you can keep up.”_ _

__“You’re a tease.” He rolled his eyes, standing up and offering me a hand to help me up._ _

__With a smirk, I took that hand. “Oh, but you love it.”_ _

__-_ _

__Oh, if only things stayed as innocent as they were that during day. There was nothing between us but love. Pure love, and nothing else._ _

__That night, after he’d well and truly lived up to his word, I heard him talk in his sleep for the first time._ _

__It wasn’t anything explicit. But it was still fucking terrifying. Most of it was incoherent mumbling, but I managed to pick out a few words._ _

___“Rip you to shreds.”_ _ _

__I should’ve been afraid of him earlier._ _

__The next morning, I tried to act like everything was normal. It should’ve _felt_ normal; after all, we woke up together, got ready for work together, left the apartment together… it was like things should’ve been._ _

__Apparently I couldn’t have one peaceful day without something scary happening._ _

__This _had_ to be Moira’s doing. There was no way this was happening on its own. The Gabriel I knew was loving and protective, yet harsh and strict. He was so resolved on taking care of everybody and doing the right thing, and he’d never ever think of hurting me._ _

__But every night, his mumbling would wake me. And I’d listen, with eyes open wide, as his words became more and more coherent with each night passing. The one time I tried to bring it up with him, I acted like it wasn’t anything serious. Apparently he didn’t remember even stirring; not once. “I’ve been sleeping like a baby since we started spending more time together,” he told me with a smile._ _

__Things just weren’t adding up._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOWWWW third chapter already? this is the most I've written in months. also, I'm beginning to realise how heartrending it is to write this shit, especially because I have the power to say 'fuck canon' and make them happy and loving and all round wholesome. but NO, I can't, because that's not the storyline I had planned.
> 
> anyway, onto a happier note: thank you all so much for your absolutely lovely reviews! it makes me so happy to read through them and I'd love to answer directly to everyone, but I thought it'd be easier to just speak to you all at once through the author's notes. but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate them! really, it makes my day to see how happy you are with my work.
> 
> anyway, I'll stop rambling. thank you for reading, please leave a review and I hope you have a lovely day!


	4. Chapter 4

Six months later, and everything had turned into my own personal hell.

The tender, witty, ambitious man that I fell in love with turned into something completely different. He stopped saying he loved me. He stopped empathising with my panic attacks and general problems. He stopped leaving me flowers. He stopped paying any attention to me.

Not only that, but tensions were running inexplicably high within Overwatch. It turned out that I was right about Moira; she had been using Overwatch’s resources to conduct her own personal research that was strictly against protocol, and Gabriel had allowed her to perform genetic experiments. Genetic. Experiments. My fears ended up coming true, and I had no doubt that she had gotten inside his head and caused all of this.

Gabriel went from being moderately displeased with Jack to hating his fucking guts. He’d constantly complain about how he was handling the crisis and how much backlash Blackwatch was receiving because of his incompetency. Not only that, but Jesse, my only friend left aside from Angela, left the organisation completely. He didn’t want to be involved with its inevitable crash and burn, which I understood. And Angela was too busy to talk to me much since she was a central member of Overwatch. So I was completely alone.

No matter how much I wanted to resign, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Regardless of how much Gabriel had changed, I still loved him. Fear tends to bring out the most desperate kind of love. I couldn’t abandon him when this situation was clearly tearing him apart. I couldn’t leave him alone in all that chaos.

Even if he was leaving me.

The only time I ever saw any emotion from him was when I gave him my favourite necklace. He knew how much it meant to me, and I actually earned a smile and a hug from him, despite the weighty implications that came with it.

“Just in case anything happens to me,” I told him as I placed it in the palm of his hand.

“I’ll treasure it.” He responded.

It was the first time I’d seen him emote at all in months.

And it was the last, too.

Because the next day, the Overwatch HQ went up in smoke with Gabriel inside.

And so did my entire life.

Words could not, and still cannot describe what I felt when I received that phone call. It felt like my heart was ripping in two, yet it felt so surreal. I knew that what I was being told was real, but as I stared at the photograph of him and I hanging from the wall, it didn’t feel right that I was staring into the eyes of a dead man.

My Gabriel.

Dead.

He was my whole life. He meant everything and more to me. Without him, I wasn’t a complete person. I felt like a shell; a walking corpse. And it felt like there was no hope of ever returning to a happy life without him.

Months earlier, I would’ve scoffed at the idea that people really felt that way when losing a loved one. It’s not that bad, I told myself. Oh, how I was so wrong. The way I described it to myself felt so clichéd; like it came straight out of some tragic romance movie. Like I ripped it straight from the pages of Romeo and Juliet.

It sounds ridiculous.

But fuck, it was real.

The next few months were kind of a blur. It was hard to keep track of the order of events; but somewhere in that space of time, I left Overwatch officially, moved to a different apartment, got a new job at some law firm, and started doing my weekly Friday night hook-ups. However, there is one event that is as clear as day in my memory.

The day I received the first anonymous phone call.

The first time, it was to my mobile. I saw that the caller was contacting me from a private number, but that didn’t faze me. I walking home from the train station at the time, so without thinking about it properly, I just answered.

“Hello?” I said.

The person, or thing on the other end did not say hello back.

Instead, I was met with what sounded like static with a low, grumbling growl in the background. It was so loud that I had to take my ear away from the receiver as I listened, eyes opened wide with shock. It took me a good few moments to come to my senses and hang the fuck up.

The rest of the way home, I kept looking over my shoulder.

The next time I got a call like that, it was the home phone. I had learned from the first time, so I told the person on the other end to stay the hell away from me and hung up straight after.

From then on, I’d only answer calls from contacts I knew. I would often get voicemails of the same sort, though. And every time, it set me on edge. Who could possibly be trying to harass me at a time like that? There wasn’t anyone that I could remember pissing off that much.

Eventually and fortunately, the calls stopped. And I went on with my shitstorm of a life.

So, that brings us to me Saturday. Exactly six months after he died. Exactly five years after we hooked up at that bar.

Our fifth anniversary, and I was spending it drinking until I felt numb. At least when I felt numb, the tears didn’t hurt. They just… happened. And I suppose that was better than feeling them.

“You know…” Angela’s soft voice brought me out of my silent melancholy, and with a start I jolted and met her gentle blue eyes with my own tired, strained ones. “If you’re ever feeling lonely, you could always come live with me in Switzerland. I’d be glad to have you.”

“Thanks, Angie.” I responded with a soft sigh. “I don’t think I’d do well away from home though.”

“That’s okay. The offer is always open, my friend. Always.” She reached over, placing a hand on my shoulder and caressing it gently.

“Thank you.”

As much as I knew I should’ve appreciated her generous offer, it felt almost empty. Like she didn’t mean it. That wasn’t her fault though; I knew she cared.

Angela was rather reluctant to leave me by myself after that. Despite that, I urged her to leave because I didn’t want to hold her up from the business that brought her to the US. Also, I sort of didn’t want to explain more about how I felt. It was hard enough processing it inside my head.

So, there I was at 8pm on a Saturday night. Alone, and dealing with a hangover by drinking even more alcohol. It was almost – no, it was very pitiful. As soon as I shut the door behind Angela, I made my way back to my kitchen and took my place on the barstool once again, grasping my glass of whiskey in one hand and plopping my chin onto my other hand. 

_Now, where was I?_

-

Two full glasses of whiskey later, and I found myself collapsed on the couch. I hadn’t blacked out (yet), but I was drunkenly enjoying some old show on some holovid channel. None of it was making any sense to me whatsoever, but whatever. What else was I gonna do? Sleep? Don’t make me laugh.

I attempted to sit up, but my brain immediately decided to fly out of my skull upon pushing myself even slightly upright. With a soft laugh, I held still until the thumping stopped. I gently held my forehead in my hand as I slowly sat up, and I barely registered how flushed my skin felt.

I slowly but surely teetered towards the kitchen bench, gripping onto the polished granite as I collected my scattered brain. I glanced up at the digital clock, making out the numbers flashing neon green at me. 01:26. At least I didn’t have work the next day. Well, that day.

That being said, I was feeling quite tired. My eyes were dry, and I was in the mood to disappear into the black world of dreams. Despite that, I pulled up a barstool and sat in it, gripping the glass of water that I miraculously found sitting by the sink.

“In my dreams, Gabe is still there.” I whispered to myself pitifully. God, I sounded like a lovesick teenager that wrote slam poetry about heartbreak in their spare time. I almost chuckled dryly. What a sorry fucking state.

Almost as if saying his name aloud was like speaking a curse, I suddenly felt a cold breeze come rushing through the window. Wait. The window? My almost-chuckle fell flat on my tongue as I turned my gaze to the window. I had closed that very window before I got started on my whiskey binge.

“What the fuck.”

It’s shocking how quickly panic sobers you up.

Unfortunately my body was still too under the influence to respond quickly to my suddenly alert brain, so I internally screamed at myself as I got up from my barstool as quietly as possible and put the glass down in the same furtive manner. I wasn’t going to call out, “hello?” like a horror movie idiot. No, I knew better than that, even in my intoxicated state. I went around the counter, pulled a knife out of the knife block, and crept in towards the door closest to the window, which was my bedroom.

So many thoughts were racing through my head but I couldn’t compute them properly enough to decide how I was going to approach this. Best case scenario, I was just being paranoid and there wasn’t anything there. Maybe I opened the window again and just forgot about it. Worst case scenario, someone sneaked into my apartment and has been waiting there for ages. Maybe it was a burglar, or even an assassin.

_Fuck me, I have NOT recapped anywhere near enough of my training to be dealing with this shit._

Every step and every heartbeat thundered throughout my body despite how quiet I was trying to be. I sneaked in through the threshold of my bedroom, gripping the knife in both hands. Hopefully my knife fighting skills would return to me through muscle memory, should I have needed them. 

I didn’t dare turning on the light. Instead, I narrowed my bleary eyes in an effort to see clearly through the dark. The only light source was the kitchen light filtering in through the doorway. I canvassed the room thoroughly, only to find that nothing was there.

Thank god I was just being paranoid. Perhaps I did just open the window without paying too much attention to it.

With a relieved sigh, I fell out of my defensive stance and relaxed my grip on the knife. _See, everything is fine. I’m just a fucking idiot, as per usual._

My thoughts were cut startlingly short as an arm closed around my neck. I was pulled back against someone’s chest, and their other hand yanked the knife from my grasp and trapped both of my wrists.

_OhmygodohmygodohmygodohmyGOD YOU FUCKING FOOL._

I did the first thing that came to mind. I started struggling against my assailant’s crushing grip and attempted to jam my foot into theirs. None of it fazed them; in fact, they laughed. 

Actually, no. I wouldn’t call it laughter. It was mocking, it was arrogant, it was amused. It sounded like it came straight from the gates of hell. 

I tried so hard to wriggle out of the arms that were pinning me back. I writhed and fought as relentlessly as I could in my terrified but still slightly drunk state, but it did absolutely nothing. They weren’t budging at all.

Was I actually being attacked by a demon?

As their grip tightened beyond imagination, I felt my airways begin to collapse. It felt just like it did in the nightmares. You know, where you try to scream but your voice just doesn’t exist. That terrifying experience was so fucking real in that moment. The dark, raspy chuckle sent chills all throughout me as my attacker leaned closer to my ear.

_**“Oh, darling, didn’t I teach you better than that?”** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW YOU GUYS ARE SO KIND TO ME!!! 
> 
> thank you all so much for these beautiful reviews. reading them makes me so happy <3 honestly, I have so much appreciation for you all.
> 
> thank you for reading my loves, and enjoy your day/night.


	5. Chapter 5

For a moment, time itself stood still as my attacker’s words solidified in my panicked and drunken state.

There was only one person who would give me shit for something like that.

There was only one person who would call me darling.

There was only one person who knew how to find me.

But it couldn’t be. He was dead, for fuck’s sake!

Then everything suddenly started moving again, and before I knew it I felt his grip on my throat loosen. Before I could even splutter and cough air back into my lungs, he tossed me against the wall with a sickening crunch and all the air flew out of me again.

I stumbled to the ground, watching helplessly as he tossed the knife aside haphazardly. My vision was starting to go slightly blurry as my head started to pound unbearably. And something warm and wet was running down my neck. Was I bleeding? From him choking me? As my eyes landed on his clawed gloves (so extra, but at that moment the glint of the metal claws terrified me), I connected the dots.

My unstable vision focused in on his mask. It almost resembled the Blackwatch logo. _No. He’s dead._ And that stance… The way he tilted his head slightly, crossed his arms and chuckled. _No. He’s dead._ And the way he leaned down with the arrogant, sarcastic ‘aww’ softly coming from his mouth. _No. He’s FUCKING DEAD._

Besides. He’d never hurt me.

Right?

“So this is what you’ve become.” His voice was like gravel, but oddly satisfying to listen to. Apparently that’s what I was paying attention to, when there was a literal murderer standing above my incapacitated self. “A mess. An alcoholic insomniac who spends all of her time crying.”

Everything felt like it was going in slow motion as he reached down, gripped my collar and yanked me upright. “Pathetic.” He pulled me in so I was just inches away from him before turning me and tossing me onto my bed like I was a featherweight, and it was absolutely effortless to just throw me around. The impact of me hitting the bedframe winded me again, and I wanted to retort. I really did (because that was apparently the best idea at the time; to piss off an already pissed off murderer). But I couldn’t find my voice before he began taking slow, menacing steps towards me.

My body lurched into action, and I scrambled back against the headboard. A rush of pure, unadulterated fear ran cold through my body. Although, I wasn’t afraid to die. At that point, I would have welcomed any sort of escape from the hellish reality.

But the _pain_.

He looked like the kind of person to tear me to bloody pieces with his bare fucking hands and laugh. Even just looking at him filled me with ice cold dread, and I couldn’t even see his face. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking.

The moonlight and bright city lights filtering through the window were a great contrast to the nightmare-come-to-life that was happening right before my eyes. The soft neon blue hues cast shadows against his mask as he took his slow, calculated steps towards me. Even I had to appreciate the poetic beauty of the moment. Despite the fact that I was literally going to die.

He reached the end of the bed, but no words came from him. Silence was just as frightening as sound in this instance. What was he thinking of? Ways to kill me off in a horrific manner? I was frozen in place with terror. I wanted to move. I wanted to run and jump out the window onto the street below so I could flee. But no matter how hard I willed myself to get up, I just couldn’t. I wasn’t even sure if my quivering legs would be able to support my weight, especially not after being flung against a wall. 

Suddenly, his rough voice broke the silence like a pinprick shattering glass.

“(Y/N).”

He knew my fucking name.

_He. Is. Dead. It can’t be him. Stop looking for evidence that it is._

“You haven’t been a very good girl, have you?”

Both of us stood as still as statues as the words hung heavily in the frigid air, and eventually faded off into silence. Why wasn’t he attacking me anymore? Was he trying to lull me into a false sense of security, or give me time to actually recall my life and start to fear death?

“To think… my good, loyal _reina_ would spend every Friday night fucking another man?” 

My blood ran ice cold.

”Truly sordid.” He tutted as if he was truly disappointed in me. But there wasn’t an ounce of sentiment in those black pits that I was staring into. “Makes me want to keep you around, maybe fuck some common decency into you. Whore.”

I finally found my voice, and gave a croaky chuckle as I felt my eyes fill with tears. “You, lecturing me about decency? That’s just fucking rich, arrogant prick.”  
Within seconds, he seized me by the throat again and pushed me against the wall. I could feel the anger seeping from him as he slammed me against the wall one more time, just for good measure.

“I can’t believe I ever loved such a stupid, overconfident woman.” He spat, his grip tightening. I felt the claws dig into my skin again, but I barely paid it any mind as the severity of his statement fully kicked me in the head.

There was no more denying it. My heart dropped into my stomach, and the tears began to fall freely as the realisation fully set in.

“Ha, that’s just like you. So eager to spit insults but then turns into a weak, sobbing mess as soon as I fire back.” He dropped me to the ground and stepped back, putting his hands on his hips. My vision became even more blurred with tears as I collapsed onto my knees and crumbled into a heap.

It couldn’t be real. He died. I wished it was a nightmare, then I could wake up. For once, I wanted to go back to my miserable, alcohol-filled reality. But this was so real. The bruises on my body and the tears running down my cheeks was proof that it was all so fucking real.

And the man standing above me abusing me was Gabriel Reyes.

Through my tightening throat, I managed to choke out, “Gabe, y-you died!” I buried my face in my arms as I succumbed to the sobs wracking my body. It was almost like I could physically feel the knives stabbing into my heart. My aching, battered body didn’t even compare with what my heart was feeling.

With a cold laugh, he replied. “I did. And now I’m reborn.”

“Into what?! _A fucking monster?_ ” 

“Yep.” He sounded so nonchalant. Like he didn’t even remember what it was like to feel. The knowledge that all the love we shared was now probably just a wasted memory to him was tearing me apart from the inside.

“Gabriel… please!” I cried, my gaze whipping up to stare into the abysses that were the eye holes in his mask. I thought I’d cried my tear ducts dry that night, but I was sorely mistaken as I numbly registered the tear marks on my sleeves. “Why are you doing this?”

“You’re on my list.” His list? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? His hit list, most likely.

“So- you’re going to k-kill me?” My words were interrupted by a sharp inhale of breath. I was starting to hyperventilate. “Y-You can’t fuck-ing do that t-to me!” My pleas trailed off into shudders and gasps for breath, the tears coming faster and faster with every emotionless word he said.

“I was going to…” he said, crossing his arms. “But I think letting you live will be a worse punishment.”

“Fo-For what? _LOVING YOU?_ ” I cried, scrambling up to plead him with my tired, tearful eyes. “I still do! I love you so fu-cking much, Gabriel please!”

“That’s not my name anymore.”

There it was.

 _Emotion_.

He sounded almost contrite.

I couldn’t think of anything to say. All words left my mind as I was consumed by the black hole forming in my heart. Wordlessly, my hands groped for the chain hanging from my neck. It had been ever since he died. For the first time in 6 months, I pulled his old dog tags off and held them out to him without looking up at his mask. I didn’t expect him to take them, but after a few moments, he lifted them out of my hand.

It was a while before I spoke again, after taking a number of long, deep breaths. “I haven’t taken them off, since… well, since the explosion.” Silence followed. “I love you so fucking much. I haven’t stopped loving you since the day I found you again.” Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that I was most likely not going to get through to him with my heartfelt implorations. But I still wanted to try. “Gabe, baby… please. Come back to me.” My throat tightened again, and I buried my head in my sleeves again to hide how I started to sob even harder.

The air fell silent once again. All that stood between us was empty space and raw emotion (at least from me), and it was excruciating. I wished he would say something. Even if it wasn’t what I wanted him to say, I still wanted to know what was going through his broken mind.

But when I glanced up to face him, he was gone.

I didn’t sleep for hours after that. The sun had well and truly risen before I ended up collapsing from exhaustion. In that time, my mind raced like a runaway freight train, coming up with all these assumptions and theories about what happened, why he came here, and why he left. It all seemed so strange. One minute, he was throwing me about my bedroom and calling me names. And the next, he was gingerly taking his dog tags from my hand and disappearing without a word. Part of me wanted to hope that I had gotten through to him. But I knew that I would never see him again until he decided to come and take my life for real.

-

I didn’t end up going to work that week. I simply ended up spending the week wasting my life in bed and on the couch. Now that I knew Gabriel was still alive – more or less – my life felt even emptier than before. Knowing that he was still out there but he didn’t feel an ounce of love for me anymore. Or an ounce of anything but hatred, for that matter. I would’ve been happier if he didn’t live.

But now that I knew he was still kicking, I was determined to find a way to bring him back.

Throughout that week of not leaving my apartment at all, I did a lot of thinking. Specifically about what Moira had done to him to make him survive that blast and turn him into a walking death machine. The old paper of hers that Overwatch hated so much discussed the possibilities of accelerated cell regeneration. Perhaps her little experiments were based on that. Maybe she made some devastating mistakes.

Something similar happened to Lena, but Winston was able to fix it. With the technology of the age I lived in, there must’ve been a way. I knew I was delving into dangerous territory, not only by considering even more genetic enhancement, but mostly by getting my hopes up. 

But fuck, did getting my hopes up make me feel so much better about everything. And at that moment, feeling something more than complete and utter despair was a blessing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOoOoOo spicy
> 
> don't worry, my dear readers, the smutty shit I promised you in the tags is coming soon (and so are reader and gabe LMAO)
> 
> thank you so much for reading! leave a review <3 and enjoy your day/night!


	6. Chapter 6

As the days without Gabriel showing up again passed me by, I began to get more and more restless. It was already hard to tell what was on his mind, but now it was completely impossible. One night, he comes into my house and attacks me, and then disappears without a trace. It was erratic and confusing. All I could do was worry.

At least my time off work gave me an opportunity to find out if other people had spotted the mysterious black-robed killer around. After a quick search on the web, it was clear that there indeed was a terrorist by the name of the Reaper who matched Gabe’s new manifestation perfectly. As I combed through article after article for details, my hatred for Moira and her exploits grew exponentially. There was no way the old Gabriel would do such ruthless, vicious things – and without any signs of remorse to boot.

Days turned into weeks, and by the time two weeks passed, I was just about ready to get back into my weekly routine. It was a Friday evening, so I left work and spent the afternoon lounging about and preparing for my night. This usually involved a great deal of gloom and vodka, as well as choosing something to wear for the night.

By the time I’d gone through two screwdrivers, I’d been staring at my wardrobe for about twenty minutes. Getting frustrated with my own indecision, I grabbed something random out of the wardrobe and threw it onto the bed. It wasn’t anything too flashy; a skintight navy blue dress. I picked out a fresh pair of matching underwear (my favourite pair was in the wash, so I had to go with some plain old black lace), and slipped into my clothing of choice.

I poured myself a third screwdriver and sipped at it periodically as I did my makeup. Again, nothing too flashy but enough to make me look like I wasn’t sleep deprived and depressed. By that time, I’d gotten quite adept at that. As I sat on the couch and finished my screwdriver, I watched the sky dim and turn to nightfall through my window.

Finally the clock struck 8pm, and it was time for me to hit the town. I downed the remainder of my fourth screwdriver and stood, already feeling a tad tipsy but not so much that my heels were rendered dangerous to my health. Regardless, I kept a hand on the countertop as I walked around it to put my empty glass in the sink.

For the first time in a while, I was feeling that buzz effect. Usually I’d skip that and turn straight into a miserable drunk, but for once I was feeling oddly happier than usual. It was strange, but I welcomed the unfamiliar feeling. I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt like that. A faint smile came to my face as I left the kitchen and made my way to my bedroom in search of my handbag.

I clearly remembered leaving it on my bed with all of my essentials for the night inside, but when I got into my room, it was gone. Surely I didn’t pick it up and leave it somewhere without remembering? I wasn’t _that_ drunk, and I was fully aware of it. My eyes narrowed and the subtle smile dropped into a hard, thin line. Something wasn’t right.

 _Funny,_ I mused to myself with a devastating lack of amusement, _isn’t this exactly what happened when Gabriel came for his little visit?_ My suspicion turned to ice cold dread.

He wouldn’t best me this time, especially since I was nowhere near as drunk or as much of a mess. I quickly ran through my plan of action in my head; dart into the kitchen, grab a knife, and search each room from front to back. As I turned around though, I immediately walked straight into the broad frame of Gabriel – or Reaper, as he was now known. And he was holding my handbag by the straps with two clawed fingers.

He tilted his head slightly, and I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Now, where do you think you’re going?”

_Well, fuck._

There went my entire plan of action.

In a last ditch attempt to get away from him, I took a step back and attempted to fling the door into him. He caught it before it even hit him, his clawed gloves leaving scores in the paint.

_Well, double fuck._

I began to step back, attempting to get my shoes off my feet and into my hands as I went. I gripped one shoe in one unsteady hand as I hopped back a few steps, trying to grab my other shoe with my free hand. Watching my feeble attempts to arm myself with amusement, he let out a low chuckle.

“Do you think that will work any better than the knife?” He crossed his arms and came to a halt. “Put the heels down.”

“No.” I retaliated by ditching a shoe at him and scrambling backwards onto my bed. He easily dodged the shoe before advancing on me again. His footsteps sounded so ominous, filling the otherwise silent room.

I realised by the time he got to the end of my bed that I had completely cornered myself. I mentally applauded my own stupidity, watching with mounting fear as he loomed over me. I could physically feel the air around him become more malicious.

“You never answered my question.” He reminded me, his tone of voice growing darker by the second. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Out.” I retaliated curtly. I immediately regretted my decision to backchat as he visibly grew more infuriated. Were my eyes playing tricks on me, or was there actually black smoky stuff emanating from him?

“Not good enough.” I didn’t even have time to blink before his hand latched onto my leg and yanked me towards him. As soon as I landed on the mattress again, I struggled against his unyielding grip and began to lose my nerve upon seeing how easily he held me in place. He climbed onto the bed and confined my legs by pressing them between his considerably tougher ones. Before I could squirm away, he snatched my hands up and held them above my head.

“You know,” he mused aloud, “it seems like I’ve underestimated you.”

I almost laughed. How the fuck was I putting up any kind of a fight like this? If anything, he would’ve overestimated me; even if he expected to put me down in one hit.

“Especially with this little dress…” he continued. “I think I’ll keep you. At least for a little while before I put you out of your misery.” He took his free hand and trailed one clawed finger down my cheek, tilting his head slightly.

I abruptly understood what he meant by ‘underestimate’. No matter how much I wanted myself to resist him and get as far from him as possible, in my mind it was still Gabriel Reyes pinning me to my bed and essentially telling me he was going to fuck me as much as he wanted until he decided it was time to put an end to it.

I half-heartedly wriggled and tugged at his grip, but the jolts running through my body down to my lower abdomen told a different story. My mind and heart were racing. I couldn’t even tell what I was feeling. Instead of doing anything, I laid there motionless with wide eyes. His grasp on my wrists tightened as he began feeling around my dress for the zipper.

I felt the pressure on my legs and wrists slacken for just a moment before he roughly flipped me over and pushed me into the mattress. “Stay still. Or you’ll regret it.” The menacing tone of his voice froze me. After a few moments, a hand – an ungloved hand, I discovered as I didn’t feel those claws pressing into me – fastened around my neck. I had to bite back my soft moan as his other hand, which was also gloveless, roughly felt around my body. Something about his lack of precaution was driving me crazy. Within moments he found the zip and undid it before tugging the dress off me. As soon as it was presumably on the floor, he let out a low hum of appreciation.

“I like this,” he said, hooking a finger into the hem of my panties. “I think I’ll like it better when it’s off, though.” My underwear and bra quickly followed my dress and within seconds my body was completely vulnerable to him. Why wasn’t I doing anything to fight back? More importantly, why didn’t I want to? I wanted to resist. I wanted to hate what he was doing. But I just… didn’t.

“What happened to your attitude?” His hands gripped my waist almost painfully as he tried to tease and provoke me. “Where’s that fire now?”

I pressed my lips together, refusing to respond. I sure as hell wouldn’t let him know that I wasn’t totally opposed to what was happening, especially if I hated myself for it.

“Being stubborn, are we?” One hand left my waist, and I heard a click. Was he taking off his mask? I desperately wanted to turn around and see, but within a moment his hand gripped my hair and held my head in place. Almost as if he knew I wanted to look. “I guess I’ll have to force you to be a good girl, then.” His voice was slightly less muffled now. So he _had_ taken off the mask. It was almost infuriating that I couldn’t turn around and look, but the mystery was kind of invigorating.

The hand that was gripping my waist moved to grab a handful of my ass. I bit back another moan as I forced myself to not arch into him. He would not get the better of me. He didn’t know how withdrawn I could be, but he was about to find out.

All of my efforts were for nothing, though. Before I could even register what was happening, I felt a sharp, gratifying sting as his hand struck my ass. And with that, I was already gone.

My hips arched into his touch, unable to contain my pent-up whimper. He chucked darkly and gave a low appreciative hum, striking me again and earning another even louder and more desperate sob. “There it is. You’re such a shameless whore, aren’t you?”

Another loud smack resounded throughout the room. I bit my lip, struggling to stifle my moan. With every strike he made, my resolve rapidly failed and I could feel the coil in my core tightening more and more. Fuck, I hated this. I hated how he knew exactly what would make me crumble and I hated how everything he did was tearing me apart from the inside.

And I hated that I didn’t mind one bit.

His relentless spanking stopped, and I almost let out a whine of desperation as soon as his hands released me. I felt the mattress wobble as he shifted, and he gripped me again only to flip me over. A rush of excitement ran through me as I realised I’d be able to see his face. As soon as I was on my back, my eyes met his. And I swear I almost came at that.

Those dark eyes that I fell in love with were intense and blazing, and it felt like he was fucking me with just his gaze. I felt my jaw slacken as I sharply inhaled, my body tightening. He smirked. “See something you like, hmm?”

I almost expected him to be disfigured from the blast, but I was sorely mistaken. His hair was longer than it used to be; it seemed like he’d stopped caring about keeping it short. The sides were still cut short, but the rest was significantly longer. I wanted to run my hands through his dark locks; in fact, I’d always wanted to, but his hair never used to be long enough. He had a few more scars on his face, but they were barely noticeable. Although, his skin did look a little… ashen. All in all, not as bad as it could’ve been, oh no. He was still damn sexy. Maybe even more so than before, in a dangerous way.

In response to him, I averted my eyes and let out a half-hearted mumble.

“So timid.” He remarked, his hand moving to my throat and gripping it. “I’ll make you sing, _avecita_. Even if you want to keep that pretty little mouth shut. Either way, I’ll put you to good use.”

I nearly melted at that.

He released me and stood, his smirk dropping as a dark glint came to his eyes. “Stay still, like a good girl. You won’t get far if you run.”

Rather than fleeing, like I wished I could’ve done earlier on, I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he began to effortlessly unclasp all of his gear and let it fall to the floor. Item after item was removed, and I watched eagerly, my eyes surveying his delightfully muscular figure as he went. I watched the muscles in his arms undulate, fantasising about how they would feel squeezing my throat. A rush of heat went straight to my core just thinking about it.

I got so lost in appreciating his body that it was a sudden yet welcome surprise when he turned back to me. He had just finished unzipping his trousers, and he kicked them off along with his boxers as he climbed back onto the bed. With a low growl of relief, he freed his cock from its confines. Throughout the last six (almost seven) months, I’d forgotten how well-endowed he was. But I was very pleased to be reminded.

He shoved me back onto the bed before grabbing my hips and flipping me back onto my stomach. Instead of pushing me flat into the mattress, he put me on my hands and knees. I jolted as he pushed two thick digits into me. He hummed appreciatively. “Already so wet.” He sounded impressed, but I knew he was only impressed with himself. He sharply curled his fingers, pushing into that one spot that made my knees weak.

“Ohhh, fuck!” I cried out, burying my face in the comforter to hide the way my eyes almost rolled back in pleasure. God, I was so desperate for it that even this was reducing me to a squirming mess.

To my dismay, that was all he would give me. He withdrew his fingers and presumably cleaned them off with his tongue. Within moments, however, his hands were back to gripping my waist. Without any warning, he pushed his thick cock into me and buried himself inside me in one violent thrust.

And I almost fucking came apart.

With how loud I cried out, I knew I’d be getting some strange looks from my neighbours for weeks. He didn’t start gently or wait for me to adjust; he immediately started slamming into me roughly. Within moments I was moaning and gasping wantonly, my body almost melting into the mattress. God, he knew exactly how to please and he fucking knew it, the smug bastard.

“That’s it, _puta_ , make some pretty sounds for me.” The dark timbre of his voice resonated throughout my body, sending my frenzied brain into hyperdrive. I was already so close and he’d barely touched me. Every time his hips slammed into mine, I felt white hot ecstasy burst from my core and surge through my entire being. I couldn’t control the moans and whines spilling from my lips, no matter how much I wanted to.

“Such a good fucktoy,” he purred, tangling a hand in my hair and painfully tugging at it. “Taking my cock so well.” He suddenly and violently wrenched my head up so his lips brushed against my ear. “Since you’ve had so much practice lately.” He growled. A rush of dread ran cold through me, but somehow that turned me on even more. Knowing that he was pissed and would probably hurt me was so sickening, but the fact that I wanted it was even more sickening.

“You were so loyal, and I thought you’d stay loyal even after I left.” Gabriel condemned, his grip remaining painfully taut. “But what do I find? You’re off every week taking some two-pump-chump’s dick like it’s a hobby.” To emphasise his point, he rutted into me aggressively and dug his fingers into my hips. It fucking stung, but I loved every bit of it.

I couldn’t even properly respond. Every word faltered on my tongue and turned into a pleasured sob. I clenched the comforter between my fingers, clutching to it like it was the last thing holding me down to earth.

“This is so much better, isn’t it?” He continued, not showing any sign of breathing difficulty as he relentlessly pounded into me. “It’s just so obvious that you love being treated like a worthless toy. You _want_ me to use and abuse you, then throw you away. Don’t you?”

Every sinful word sent me even closer to the edge. I could only respond with a breathless moan. That wasn’t good enough for him, though. He yanked my hair again. “ _Don’t_ you?” He repeated.

“Yes, _fuck!_ ” I forced out, almost collapsing onto the mattress at that point. He chuckled, his dark, gravelly voice sending shivers throughout my body.

“That’s my girl.”

I couldn’t resist it any longer. The tight coil in my abdomen suddenly snapped, and it felt like I was gushing around his cock as I lost all ability to hold myself upright. I damn well near screamed, my body quivering with the strength of my climax. He didn’t slow at all throughout it; in fact, it seemed like he wasn’t done with me yet.

The sensation from my orgasm simply served to rocket me back to near-climax again. He released my hair to strike my ass, this time with even more force than before. My body jerked from the sudden stinging pain, and I could feel the frustration behind it.

“I didn’t give you permission to do that.” He told me, his voice intimidating yet strained with stifled pleasure. “Next time, you’ll wait for my say-so. Got it?”

I could only give a strangled ‘mmmmm’ as acknowledgement. Thankfully that passed his standard, though. He gripped my ass cheek rather than smacking it again, giving a low groan as he fully hilted himself forcefully. Taking his length fully was almost painful, but it merged with the extreme pleasure that came with it into something even better.

He began rutting into me harder and faster than before, and I almost saw stars. If he didn’t give me the green light to finish soon, I’d end up going against him and inevitably pissing him off even more. I was in a state of awe; the guys I’d been with since he “died” didn’t even last long enough to finish me off, most of the time, but now that Gabe was the one fucking me, I was almost coming within minutes. I couldn’t control the dirty moans and screams spilling from my lips by the moment. He did always like it loud, and apparently that was still the case as he gave a low groan. “Music to my ears. Told you… _mmm_ , told you I’d make you sing.”

I couldn’t take any more. “Please, Gabe!” I begged, digging my fingers into the balled up sheets. “Please let me come!”

“I don’t think you deserve it, slut.” His voice sounded taut, and I figured that he’d have no choice but to let me since he was probably close too. “Are you gonna keep fucking other men?”

“No! No, please, I promise!” I cried out, trying as hard as I could to grind my hips into his and provide at least a little release.

“Good girl.” He praised, his thrusts becoming rougher by the moment. “You belong to me. I’m the only one who can fuck you like this, understand?”

“Yes- oh _fuck_ , yes! Please…” My voice trailed off into a pitiful sob. It was genuinely becoming painful to have to hold off.

“Fine. Come for me, then.”

Within seconds, I felt myself topple off the edge again. My head was spinning and my entire body was trembling. I couldn’t even properly grasp anything in my mind; I felt completely intoxicated, and it was fucking incredible. I clenched around Gabe’s cock and pulled him even closer to the edge, and before I knew it his hips began stuttering unevenly into mine and he climaxed with a filthy groan and a string of curses. I would never forget that absolutely gorgeous sound that came from him, and the feeling of his cock pulsing and releasing inside me.

As soon as he pulled out of me and released me from his grip, I collapsed onto the bed with a soft and slightly woozy ‘thank you baby’. I practically lost all sense of consciousness after that, but when I woke up the next morning, there wasn’t any trace of him ever being there.

Except for the comforter snugly pulled over my naked form, and the necklace he left on my bedside table.

 _My_ necklace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spicy
> 
> in all honesty I'm not feeling too great about this chapter. its been a while since I've written anything like that, and I really can't compare it to some of the stuff done by other people. I dunno.
> 
> regardless, I hope you enjoyed it! please leave a review, and have a lovely day/night <3


	7. Chapter 7

_Much like its inhabitants, the city of Oasis never slept. When the sun dipped below the horizon, the brilliant lights framing every skyscraper and facility and seeping through the windows became the daylight in the hours of darkness, and the erudition of the people served as beacons._

_Despite the dazzling reputation of the Oasis, a greater darkness lurked within its core._

_Her dainty hands tapped away at her screen, swiping through page after page of elaborate research. After combing through it again and again, she’d finally come to her hypothesis and was ready to commence investigation. She felt a familiar rush through her veins as she began to envision her trials and relay them into a method of approach. Perhaps she’d make another astounding breakthrough. She just hoped that, should a breakthrough come about, she’d be able to contain the findings this time._

_Her fingers came to a standstill as she felt the air grow cold. Unusually cold and eerie. Something wasn’t right about it. With a flick of her hand, she turned off the AC. The whirr of her holovid was the only sound in the room, filling the otherwise deathly silent room with a low hum._

_Despite the dim light of the lamp, she could make out wispy tendrils of black coiling and gathering beside her. Before she could make a dash for her prototype bionic gauntlets, she felt the entity coalesce into one solid being. And she felt the cold, hard barrel of a shotgun against her head._

_Fear froze her solid. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt time slow down as if it were her last few moments on earth. Within seconds, however, she came back to her senses and let out a feeble chuckle. “T… To what do I owe the privilege of this visit, Reyes?”_

_“Drop the pleasantries.” He shut her down tersely, his grating voice rumbling like an imminent thunderstorm. “I couldn’t kill her. Why?”_

_“That inane tech girl you liked so much?” She immediately regretted her choice of words as the solid metal barrel of his shotgun pressed harder into her temple._

_“Watch it, or I might get twitchy.” He growled. She steeled herself, trying to resist the surging terror that his mere presence brought on. Let alone the fact that he was very, very furious. And pressing a gun to her head. And willing to pull the trigger at a moment’s notice._

_“I don’t know. You were a failed experiment, I don’t have all the an-“ Within seconds, his clawed hand was around her throat, cutting off any words on her tongue. With a snarl, he tossed her into the wall and she felt her strength rapidly fade along with her ability to breathe somewhat normally. As she fumbled and attempted to stand, she felt a sharp, stabbing pain in her ribcage. Had he broken a rib or two of hers just by throwing her against the wall? She couldn’t take this lying down._

_She blearily raked the floor for anything she could possibly use to defend herself against the monster she created. Despite her desperate groping, she couldn’t find one thing. Not even a shard of glass or a pin. She was doomed._

_Regardless, she staggered onto one knee only to find that he was right in front of her, and not too keen on letting her stand. Before she could even blink, she felt a searing pain on the left side of her face that was so excruciating that she didn’t even feel herself getting belted into the floor. She clutched at her face, feeling the blood dripping down from the fresh gouges in her face. It was a wonder that she still even had her eye; not that she could open it._

_She gawked up at him with her one good eye, watching him leer down at her and hunker down. His next few words left her in shaking dread, even hours after he disappeared._

_**“Find answers. Thin. Fucking. Ice.”** _

-

When I finally decided to drag myself out of bed, I thanked my lucky stars that it was a Saturday and I had no reason to leave my apartment. I hugged the blanket to my body as I sat upright, staring around with bleary eyes. The digital clock on my nightstand told me that it was just past 10:30am. 

I hadn’t expected Gabriel – no, Reaper, to stay. I didn’t expect anything vaguely responsive from him at all. Regardless, it still stung when I woke up to find the other side of the bed as cold as bone.

However, as I glanced back at the nightstand, my eyes fixated on a familiar pendant and chain sitting neatly beside the clock.

Very familiar indeed.

My jaw went slack with shock as I deftly plucked it up off the wooden bedside table and examined it a little closer. That necklace was mine. At least, until I gave it to Gabriel on the day he left for the Swiss HQ and he swapped it for his dog tags.

What did this mean? I gaped dumbly at it for a long few moments before putting it back on the nightstand and running my hands through my hair. It was too early to be dealing with these mixed signals.

“What the fuck does it mean?” I huffed aloud, resting my forehead in my hands. Not only was my head pounding, I could definitely feel some muscle strain and bruising all throughout my body; especially around my hips.

Wincing as I pushed myself to stand upright, I discarded the blanket and began to search for some comfortable clothes to mope around in for the day. I stepped over the discarded clothing from the night before, a soft smirk coming to my lips as I did so. I combed through my hair idly in an effort to make it look less unkempt as I slipped on a new pair of underwear and an oversized shirt.

The rest of my day was spent either on the couch or in my room. The only thing I could do was think. And wonder. There were so many questions that needed answering, but I knew that he wouldn’t be giving me any answers any time soon. He wasn’t particularly in touch with his emotions from what I saw. Unless him leaving the necklace was a sign. There was just no fucking way to tell. It was too baffling, and there were too many mixed signals. At the very least, the sex was good. Better than good. Better than great, even. That was the one and only thing that was for certain in this whole situation. 

As I gripped the necklace in my hand once again, trying to make sense of it all, it dawned on me. All those months ago when I initially gave it to him...

“Just in case anything happens to me.”

_“I’ll treasure it. And – hold on. Just in case anything happens to me.”_

_“You haven’t taken these off since you left the military…”_

_“I know. You can give them back to me if - **when** I come back, alright?”_

_“And you can give my necklace back to me when you do, too.”_

Was… Was he trying to tell me something?

Was my Gabriel coming back to me?

As I stared down at the chain in my hand, I felt a hard lump forming at the back of my throat. I dropped the necklace back onto the bedside table with a choked sob and buried my face in my hands. There was no way… after all this heartbreak and suffering. I spent so long dying inside and now he was back just to send me mixed signals and drive me fucking crazy. He said he wanted to kill me, for fuck’s sake. How was I meant to tell?

_“What the fuck does he want with me?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the kinda short, kinda shit filler chapter. I just wanted to get something out to let you guys know that I'm still alive and attempting to continue this, just been busy with the start of school.
> 
> thank you for reading! please leave a review, and have a lovely day/night <3


	8. Chapter 8

_Even after a long, stressful day at the Overwatch HQ, fraught with stupid questions, coding problems and too much coffee, I found myself coming home with a smile on my face.  
As I reached the door, my hand hovering over the doorknob, the lilting tones of Gabriel speaking Spanish (presumably to his family) reached my ears. My smile grew as I opened the door and saw him, stretched out on the lounge suite with his holovid. When I opened the door, he turned his gaze to me and returned my smile warmly. “Hablando del rey de Roma, hi babe.”_

_“Evening,” I said softly, dropping my handbag at the door and jogging up to plant a kiss on his cheek. When I came near him, I was met with a collective cheer from his family members on the other side of the screen. “Buenas noches!” I directed towards the camera, gazing fondly at Gabriel’s family. If only I could’ve seen the affectionate expression on his face at that moment._

_I was met with a chorus of some Spanish greeting that Gabriel hadn’t taught me. I planted myself next to him on the couch, breathing in his presence and curling into his side. His low voice rumbled in my ear. “They’re asking how you are,” he murmured._

_A ripple of heat went straight to my abdomen. God, even his normal speaking voice put me in a daze. I pressed myself into him more, gently caressing his thigh. “Tell them I’m tired from work, but I’m happy now that I’m home.”_

_“Está cansada por el trabajo, pero está contenta.” Good thing I was sitting down, otherwise my legs would have turned to jelly and crumbled under my weight. I could never fully fathom how he, and so many other people around the world, could be fully fluent in more than one language. It was just one among many things that I admired and adored about  
him._

_It went like that for a while; they would say something, Gabriel would repeat it to me in English, I’d add my contribution if I had something to say and he’d respond to them, all the while holding me close to him. Every beautiful word that came out of his mouth made me want to end the call sooner and jump him, as much as I loved his family. Damn it, my boyfriend was just too fucking irresistible._

_As the call kept going and going, I found my hand straying closer and closer to his crotch. The only acknowledgement he gave to me was an exasperated glance and a raise of his eyebrow, to which I responded with a soft smirk. Luckily, the holovid’s camera wasn’t positioned in a place where it would pick up my hand stroking him._

_After about ten minutes of me caressing his cock through his jeans, they finished up the call. Up until the very moment the call was ended, Gabriel had a light smile on his face. Yet the moment he pressed the power button on his holovid and shoved it onto the coffee table, his hands were gripping my wrists tight and pushing me down onto the couch. He held me down, his grip tight and unforgiving. A wicked glint came into his dark eyes as he stared me down._

_“You’re either very brave,” he growled, “or very stupid.”_

_“Very cheeky?” I suggested, a coquettish grin on my face._

_“That, too.” Before I could respond, his lips captured mine in a fiery, brusque kiss. I mewled softly into his lips, arching into him and pressing my chest against his. I don’t know how long we wrestled (literally) over the power on that couch, but by the time it was over, he had me bent over the couch with my hands restrained behind my back and his bulge swelling and pressing into my ass. “You are in for it, young lady.”_

_Needless to say, after how hard he fucked me, he got Jack to sanction my request to have the next day off._

_-_

A gentle knock on the door of my cubicle ripped me out of my daze and into the present moment. With a jolt, I stirred to life and straightened up in the dreadfully uncomfortable office chair. “Yeah?” I called out, inhaling deeply in an effort to calm my racing heart after the fright.

The door was pushed open, and none other than the assistant manager poked her head through the gap. She was the only superior employee that I, or any of my co-workers, actually liked. She wasn’t stuck-up and cruel like the manager of our branch or even the CEO (who I thankfully hadn’t encountered). She was like the one cool teacher in school who actually understood what the students were going through, and how much stress they were being put under.

“Hi, you’re not too busy are you?” She asked in her naturally mellow voice. I was obviously not in trouble, otherwise she wouldn’t be the one talking to me. So I relaxed, and shook my head. “Great,” she continued, fully stepping through the doorway and closing the door behind you. “I just wanted to come in and have a chat with you.”

“Is everything okay, boss?” I said, leaning back in my chair and gesturing to the shitty little stool that I had been supplied with in the case that I’d have to seat a client in my cubicle. She sat down with a soft chuckle.

“You don’t need to call me that. I’ve said before, just call me Josie when Mr Raigh isn’t around.” She crossed her legs in that delicate way that she did everything. My heart almost fluttered a little bit. “I just wanted to come check if you were okay. The others in the office have noticed that you’ve been a little… well, a little off this week. Not in a bad way of course! Well, I mean, kind of, we don’t really…” She sighed, stopping herself before she started fully stumbling over her words. “This sounds like a cop-out statement, but I actually do care about how our employees are going. Not only from a business point of view, but from a personal one. We, or at least I want to make sure that you’re functioning well. Because it’s important to me that you’re happy, and also to our business that you’re able to work normally.”

I was taken aback. No one in this workplace had ever really noticed or tried to ask me what had been going on in my life. I didn’t go to enormous efforts to hide that I wasn’t going too well. She was the first person to ask.

“That’s really sweet. But I’m okay. Just… just a little tired, if I’m honest.” It wasn’t fully a lie. I _was_ pretty tired, just not for the usual reasons. “I can keep working. We only have an hour and a half of the day left.”

“Woo, closer to home time every second!” She smiled and did a little fist pump. It still looked delicate. She rested a hand on my shoulder after she stood. “Well, do come tell me if there’s anything I can do to help. If you need it, that is.”

“Of course. Thank you, Josie.”

She beamed at me in response. “Always.” With that, she left and gave a little wave over her shoulder as she closed the door. The polite smile dropped from my face the moment she shut the door. As much as I adored her, I couldn’t even produce a real smile for her. Not that day.

My mind was too scattered to properly function, if I was being honest with myself. I hadn’t heard anything from Gabriel since that night in my apartment. It was like he just disappeared off the face of the Earth. No news, no texts, no creepy phone calls… Just nothing. The absence of even his presence near me, watching me, was creating a cavity inside me. As I stared down at the paperwork on my desk, I found that I couldn’t focus properly on the words or anything that was on the pages. It all blurred into lines and dots that my mind just wouldn’t put together.

Perhaps I should’ve asked Josie if I could go home early, I realised too late.

The next hour and a half passed painstakingly, but it made the reprieve of walking out of the building all the more sweet. So sweet, in fact, that I didn’t notice the suspicious figure leaning against a streetlight outside the office block.

The very moment I brushed past them, their hand clamped onto my arm and held me firmly in place. Immediately I started to panic, and I struggled to get out of their vice-like grasp to no avail. All I could manage was a shocked stammer as I yanked my arm back, but they just wouldn’t budge. That couldn’t mean anything good. In fact, it almost definitely meant something very, very bad. As ice cold dread started scratching down my spine, I saw a flash of long white nails and my eyes met with two mismatched ones.

 _Oh fuck_.

My last thought was one of complete and utter dismay as she yanked me aside and shoved me into a side alley, and the last thing I saw was the ground rushing at me as I felt a bullet tear through my neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAH IM SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING ON YOU LOVELY PEOPLE D:
> 
> I'm back though, albeit with a pretty terrible chapter imo. definitely not my finest hour. I thought I'd put something out anyway, just so you guys don't give up on me and this shitshow of a story lmao
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this short, kinda awful chapter, and I shall hopefully be back soon with another one.
> 
> love you all!!


	9. Chapter 9

Hard-edged incandescent light invaded the black haze. Indistinct shapes and forms passed by, and I could only tell I was being roughly jostled around by the haphazard way I was being carried. I couldn’t feel it, though; I couldn’t feel anything.

Was this death?

If only it was that simple.

I could still feel the feeble rise and fall of my chest as I sucked each breath into my bruised lungs and clutched at it like a lifeline. No matter how hard I willed myself to come to and start fighting back against my assailants, my body slipped into a deep sleep and despite how hard it fought, my mind swiftly followed.

**-**

“Feeling well-rested, Miss (L/N)?” 

The voice sounded otherworldly; like it carried through from an entirely different dimension. It floated to me as my groggy eyes slowly opened. Immediately, I winced. That biting incandescent light was back, and this time that was all I could see. I squinted and blinked, trying to make out anything in my vision until I realised I was staring straight at the ceiling. 

I went to prop myself up on my elbows and look around, but my arms wouldn’t budge. With a puzzled ‘wha’, I glanced down at my right arm to see it was bound to the chair by two metal shackles. _Ah. That would explain the pain biting into my biceps._

"I would offer my sincerest apologies for the uncouth manner in which we brought you in, but I’m not sorry at all. So, sorry, but no sorries today.” 

“For someone who claims to have no remorse about shooting me, you’ve said sorry a lot in the last ten seconds.” My voice was cracked from the lack of hydration, and apparently my brain was also cracked in every way possible if my first instinct was to speak to my captor like that without further consideration. 

I was met with a familiar chuckle. “My, you’ve got some fire in you. No wonder Reaper likes you so much, even after his… transformation.” 

_Come to think of it, that accent is noticeably familiar too…_ I craned my neck to see who I was speaking to and came face to face with one Moira O’Deorain. 

“And,” she continued, meeting my gaze with those cold eyes. “We didn’t shoot you. We tranquilised you. To make it easier to bring you in. Just a precaution, dear.” 

Okay, forget the whole keeping my mouth shut thing. 

“Nice eyepatch,” I pointed out, raising my eyebrow with a snort. “You piss someone off so much that they decided to try stab your eye out or something?” I was met with a deadpan glare, and the hard white light glinted off the strange silver eye adornment she now sported. 

“It is there to cover the mess your not-so-secret admirer made of my face.” I could hear her seething through her teeth. 

“I’m sure I don’t mean anything to him anymore, not after you got your dirty claws inside his head and fucked everything up.” I spat, tugging at my restraints. Despite the fact that she was obviously armed and I was still feeling practically dead from the tranquiliser, I wanted to tear her god damn throat out with her own scalpel. 

“Hmm, I wouldn’t be so sure about that one,” she mused non-chalantly, pushing herself to stand from her seat. “We’ve had some contradicting evidence.” 

Suddenly I could hear my heart hammering in my chest. “What… do you mean?” I stammered, despite my initial scorn of her. If anyone would know anything about Gabriel’s state of mind, it’d be her. However, if anyone would lie to me like that, it’d be her. 

“Where’s the fun divulging that so early?” Before I could protest, she was by the door with her long fingers resting on the steel handle. “No, I think I’ll let you stew in it for a while. See how open you are then.”

And she was gone.

I was left alone, bound to what could very well have been a dentist’s chair, in some tiny room with nothing in it except for a bunch of white tiles on the floor and a table full of tools sitting just outside my reach.

“Shit.”

**Meanwhile, outside her cell…**

Moira could feel her head pounding and threatening to burst simply from being in that inane girl’s presence. Why Reyes took such a liking to her, she didn’t know. Why her? Why was she the one stopping him from fully unlocking his potential as a powerful, ruthless figure of terror?

She was just a girl.

“You’d better hope Reaper doesn’t catch onto this.” Moira felt her eyes roll further back into her skull. “I mean, who knows how he’ll react to you kidnapping his precious _princesa_.”

Moira whirled to face the pompous little hacker. The little shit was grinning. She just thrived off dysfunction, it seemed. “Sombra,” she said frigidly. “Don’t you have anything better to do with your time?”

“Nope, I’ve clocked off.” She inspected her long, well-manicured fingernails, leaning against the wall. “Besides, you’re still new here. And there’s a lotta talk circulating about you. What’s so wrong about me just… keeping an eye on you?”

“What kind of talk?” Moira ignored her other jabs, narrowing her eyes and fixating on the young hacker.

Sombra chuckled, pushing herself off the wall to stand upright. “Ah ah; all knowledge comes at a price.”

“Fine. Suit yourself.” Moira sneered, turning on her heel. “If you’ll excuse me, I have important matters to attend to.”

“ _Adios, amiga._ ” Sombra snidely called after her. As the geneticist walked away, Sombra let out a soft chuckle to herself. She knew this wasn’t going to end well, and she’d be damned if she didn’t find that exciting. She would certainly be keeping a close eye on this situation.

**-**

It could’ve been a few days, and I’d be none the wiser. Sleep came sporadically, and while the hours passed I laid there wondering how long it had been.

They hadn’t brought me any food or water, so it couldn’t have been more than a day. Moira wouldn’t have me die; I was not expendable, and she knew that her head would be reduced to a splatter on the wall if my life came to an end under her watch.

Either way, it felt like it had been weeks. There was nothing to do except wait for sleep to claim me and think. Having so many hours to myself to simply ruminate was a dangerous thing.

Had it not been for the soundproofed cell, I would have heard the commotion happening in the hall outside. I quickly found out about it though, as the door was flung wide open and in came my Gabriel, with a very distressed Moira in tow. I jumped with a start, staring wide-eyed at the two who came charging into the cell with heavy footsteps.

“(Y/N).” Gabriel’s gravelly voice immediately eradicated all of my hunger and exhaustion, and I could feel myself falling under his spell as soon as I laid eyes on him. Even in that hefty black get-up and bone-white mask, I could still feel myself yearning for him just like I would for the old Gabriel.

“Gabe,” I breathed softly, wanting nothing more than for him to take me into his arms and back home. I didn’t care that I couldn’t see his expression. I didn’t stifle the look of pure relief that came over me either as he took a few steps towards me.

Meanwhile, Moira was frantically babbling to him, trying to placate him. “Please, I have this under control. She is simply here for interrogation, I-“

“Shut it.” He growled, turning his head to Moira. She immediately cowered and shrunk back from him. Seeing her so afraid gave me something to grin about. “Leave us. And don’t come back until my say-so. We _will_ be talking about this later.”

She fled without another word. As soon as the door closed and bolted behind her, he rushed to me and took my face in his hands.

“What did she do to you?” He sounded truly concerned, and my heart burst.

“N-Nothing. Just… just tranquilised me and bound me to the chair. I’m okay.” I assured him. “Please… can you get me out of these?” I asked, gesturing with my gaze to the restraints. Without another word, he undid the clasps on my arms and legs, careful to not nick me with the claws on his gloves. 

As soon as I was free, I launched myself straight into his arms. And he caught me with ease. Just like old times. As soon as his strong, comforting arms wrapped around me, I felt tears spring to the corners of my eyes. I buried my face in his shoulder and let my tears fall freely. For a few moments, time stood still as he held me. If I could spend eternity like that, I would’ve been more than happy with it.

Like all things, it had to end eventually. He pulled away from me, unwrapping my arms and placing me back down on the chair. His gloved fingers went to his mask, which he unclasped and pulled off. It fell to the ground with a clatter. As soon as his face was free, he grasped my face again and pulled my face up to meet his in a needy kiss. 

With a soft moan, I succumbed to him and pressed my body into his. His hard plated chest pressed into mine, but I wasn’t bothered by how my breasts were being squeezed against him. My body melted into his arms.

He wasn’t gentle with me. His teeth pulled at my lips before he recaptured them bruisingly. One of his gloved hands tangled itself in my hair and yanked hard, exposing my neck. He chuckled at the soft gasp that came from me as he held my head in place with a fixed grip in my tangled tresses. He planted a few kisses across my cheek and down my jaw until he finally reached the dip of my collarbone. He took the soft, unmarked skin between his teeth, sucking and nipping at it until he was satisfied with the blooming plum-coloured contusion that he left in his wake. Every bite left me even more breathless than before.

He finally pulled away, flashing me an arrogant smirk. “You seem flustered, babe. What’s the matter?”

“Oh god,” I said in a plea of sorts, pressing my hips into his in an effort to get at least some friction.

His chuckle rumbled deep in his throat. He was clearly very pleased with himself and his ability to reduce me to a mewling mess with only a kiss. When it was apparent that he wasn’t going to let it go any further, I whined.

“Please!” I beseeched, gripping him tight and rutting my hips into his again to elicit a response. He didn’t budge.

“You’ll have to tell me what you’re asking for.” His shit-eating grin only grew as I clawed at him desperately.

“Oh my god, just fuck me you stupid tease!” I pleaded. Immediately, his grin dropped.

“Where are your manners? Didn’t I teach you to be more respectful when you’re asking for something?” He was not happy. His hazel eyes narrowed to slits, his grip on me tightening. If I wasn’t already soaking and needing him, I certainly was now.

“Am I in trouble?” I whispered, gazing up into his unimpressed eyes.

“Thin ice, baby girl. Turn around.” He released me, giving me no choice as he forcibly whirled me around and pressed me into the chair. No matter how scared I should’ve been and no matter how much pain he could’ve inflicted on me with his bare hands, I still felt the rising exhilaration as I eagerly pressed my ass into him. His hands gripped my wrists and held them together against my back, and he leant down to growl into my ear. “Now, listen very closely. No matter how quiet you wanna be, no matter how much you don’t want the others to hear, I’m gonna make you scream my name so loud that the entire compound will know who you belong to. And you’re gonna take everything I give you with no complaints. Got it?”

I could feel myself unravelling by just listening to him issuing these orders to me. His voice never stopped having such an effect on me; I could get drunk by just listening to his voice rumbling in my ear and reverberating throughout my entire body.

“Yes, sir.” I whispered, biting my lip in an effort to keep myself from moaning.

He gave a pleased chuckle as I felt the restraints fasten around my wrists and hold them in place. “Good girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all of your lovely reviews. honestly, they're the only thing that has kept this fic going so far. I'm just becoming exponentially unhappier with each chapter and I keep comparing my work to the really exceptional writers in this fandom, and ugh. feeling pretty subpar tbh.
> 
> either way, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll be back asap with the smut <3
> 
> OOH OOH QUICK EDIT, I'm officially opening commissions! if you're interested, drop a comment and social media acc of some description (in order from most preferable to least for me, discord, twitter, tumblr, instagram) and I'll get back to ya


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> practise safe sex kids

Gabriel liked to make me wait.

After he had stripped me down from the button-down work blouse and skirt that I had been wearing since Moira captured me, he left me lying there as he painstakingly rid himself of the majority of his clothing. Ass in the air and body quivering with anticipation, I laid there as each individual piece of armour and otherwise protective gear fall to the ground with a harsh clatter. One by one, they fell.

Yes, Gabriel liked to make me wait. He liked to see how long it would take for my patience to run dry. It was one of his favourite games to play with his favourite toy, as much as it irked me. Not that I could do anything about it. I was… a little too tied up.

It felt like years before he finally put his hands on me again. His gloves were off; it was just skin on skin. I felt one calloused hand roughly grasp a handful of my ass as the other gripped at my waist, pulling me closer to him. I let out a soft pleading whine which he opportunistically chose to ignore. 

“You look gorgeous like this.” He praised, letting go of my waist to unclasp my bra and pull it out from under me. “Mmm. Absolutely divine.”

“Thank you,” I murmured, face pressed against the black leather of the chair.

With one arm, he swept the tools off the table unceremoniously before pulling me upright and bending me back over the table. “Even better.” The cold steel of the table made me squirm, but he held me in place with one strong hand on my back. “As much as I’d love to take my time with you, I don’t think you deserve that privilege.”

He abruptly tore my panties from my body and dropped them without much concern. As his hand moved from my back to wrap firmly around my neck, I felt a dizzying rush of exhilaration spark and lance through my body like a bolt of lightning. I let out a choked moan, and he chuckled.

“God, you’re so fucked up.” He leaned down again, nipping my ear gently. He was so warm in contrast to the chilly air and the cool surface of the table. “I love that about you.”

There that word was. Love.

I heard the unzipping sound of his leather pants, and my entire body perked up. I let out a soft, needy sob and attempted to press my ass into his crotch. He securely held me in place by my neck as his pants dropped, and I had next to no warning as he lifted my ass slightly, pushed my thighs apart with his knee and roughly sheathed himself inside me. 

My world almost stopped spinning on its axis at that very moment. My back arched sharply as I let out a choked cry of bliss. Gabriel didn’t even give me a second to adjust to his girth as he heavily thrust into me again. I felt a brusque combination of pleasure and pain as he fully buried himself in me with a ragged moan. He was not holding back. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

His fingertips dug into the pulse points in my neck, causing the blood to start rushing to my head. Within seconds of starting to fuck me, he had me utterly dizzy for it. He was a god, and I was the willing sacrifice at his altar. I was his most stout worshipper, and his vessel. I was willing to be everything in that very moment.

He let out a raspy chuckle, setting his relentless rhythm and leaving me a melted mess beneath him. “Shit, you’re so tight. So needy already.” He leaned down and hungrily attacked my neck with his teeth. “Fucking perfect.” He purred against my skin before going back in for the assault. I wanted to respond, but I couldn’t get a whole word out without moaning and crying out. Every strike against my sweet spot blurred, setting my entire body ablaze.

My vision was going spotty from the lack of blood to my brain or the overwhelming pleasure (or both). Who needs eyes anyway? I felt tears form in my eyes from the sheer ecstasy he was giving me; it was like a drug, and I was an addict. “Ngh… Fuck!” I cried out breathlessly, my body arching into his. “Can’t… can’t- ah! Can’t take it!”

“I don’t give a fuck whether you can or can’t,” he snarled between rough moans. “You will.”

I felt the floodgates open, and at that moment I was blinded by the sheer supremacy he held over me. It felt like my body was so fragile, and it had just splintered into a thousand pieces. His name fell from my lips over and over as I came hard on his cock. “Attagirl.” He smirked into my neck, placing a sloppy kiss over the splotchy bruise that was most likely there. He acknowledged my orgasm, but he didn’t slow. He kept powering on, fucking me like the world was ending. Immediately I was back onto my high, despite how wrecked my body felt. I wordlessly sobbed and pleaded, any attempt at a cohesive string of words failing and turning to a series of mewls and cries. My hands gripped onto the edge of the table as his pace hastened, driving into me hard and fast.

“Shit. You’re… so god damn heavenly.” He breathed, inhaling sharply between words. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.”

“Mmmmissed you t-too,” I managed to choke out. “Fuck!” I keened. “It’s too much babe, it’s too much!” I babbled as the blinding pleasure took over my mind and turned my vision to white noise. His hand left my neck and tangled itself in my hair, gently tugging and caressing as he ruthlessly drove into me.

“I told you to take it all,” he breathlessly reprimanded. “You can. And you will.”

I let out a long mewl of agreement as the tears started running freely down my cheeks. Fuck, it just felt _so good_. My back arched again, throwing my head back as I let go of all my inhibitions. He said he wanted the whole compound to know I was his, and his wish was my command. He was too good, and I was too far gone.

“Come on, babe. Sing for me, make all sorts of pretty sounds.” His hips were stuttering, and it seemed like he, too, was nearing his climax. Finally, after countless of my own and god-knows how long spent fucking like animals in heat on the table. He began slamming into me, each thrust pulling a gratified groan from him. He sounded incredible. I wanted to hear him like that for the rest of my life.

“G-Gabe! Fuck, fuck, oh my god-“ My words were cut off abruptly by an onslaught of unpreventable cries and moans. Finally, I came for the last time, screaming his name as my body went limp. With a few hard thrusts and a string of grunts and choked moans, he came down with me. His hips stuttered and came to a halt as he spent himself.

“God _damn_.” He breathed, his breath rasping deep in his throat. My mind was made of fog; I couldn’t even make a coherent reply other than a soft ‘mmm’. He pulled out of me, and I couldn’t even bring myself to move. My limbs could’ve very well been made of cotton candy.

“C’mon, up you get.” He said, wrapping an arm around my waist and hauling me upright before gently laying me down on the chair. With glazed eyes, I stared up at him. As he tucked my hair away from my face and turned to quickly duck out and get something to clean us both up with, I simply rolled onto my side and let my eyes flutter shut. Without a doubt, I looked dazed with messy hair, tear tracks down my face, purplish marks all across my body and finger marks around my neck. 

Unbeknownst to me, he thought I looked like the most beautiful woman in the world.

**-**

While I dozed off, he returned with a wet cloth and a box of tissues. He wordlessly cleaned himself up before redressing, cleaning me off and replacing my clothes. He put in his earpiece and then finally his mask, and the Gabriel I knew and loved went into hiding once more as he called for me to be moved to a proper cell for holding.

When I woke on a hard mattress in a small cell, I fumbled around in an effort to find him beside me. But I was met with nothing but cold, stuffy air and my heartache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it short? yes  
> is it unedited and unbeta'd? also yes  
> is it past midnight and should I probably wait and add to the chapter before posting? once again, yes
> 
> but, yknow, screw it. hope y'all enjoyed the pure sin <3


	11. Chapter 11

I woke with a jolt, my fingers clenching a scratchy, white sheet. My wide eyes scanned the murky cell, lit only by one faulty incandescent lightbulb, as I was abruptly reminded yet again that this was real. The descent from shock into hopeless dismay never softened as the days came and went. I hadn’t seen Gabriel since my first day in that hellhole, and I unfortunately had an abundance of time to overthink his absence.

Felt just like when I started to lose him.

Wondering if he was with someone else.

Waiting to see him again.

Wishing there was some way I could wrench us both out of this.

The meals were the same every day. So were my visitors. The whole thing was cyclic; first, the same guard would come slamming on the door to wake me before serving me a delightful meal consisting of a singular hardboiled egg and a glass of water. It gave me a smidgen of amusement to imagine which poor sucker had to cook one egg every morning for “that one prisoner”. 

Next, Moira would come in. Every single damn day, asking the same stupid questions. Every day, I’d give her the same answers, hoping she’d just let a little bit of information slip. Something to help me find a way to fix Gabriel once I escaped. Something to help me believe that there was even a way to fix him.

Then I’d be left alone for a few hours. Alone with my thoughts. They wouldn’t supply me with anything to occupy my time. Just a bed, three walls and some iron bars. Don’t forget the shower and the drain in the floor, if that was anything notable. There wasn’t even any hot water. I didn’t trust it enough to drink out of, either.

Then there was… whatever the hell the second meal was. I wasn’t sure whether it was at midday or afternoon. A whole apple. Wow, what culinary prowess my captors were showing. After that, I had a medical examiner come in to check that I wasn’t on the verge of death or something, which indicated that they were aware of how shitty the conditions were in my cell, but they weren’t willing to do anything about it except make sure I didn’t die.

Last, came dinner, which was unseasoned chicken and dry pasta. No sauce, no salt, no nothing. It was better than the egg though. The worst part about eating there was that the guard would just stand there and watch until I finished it off and handed back the cutlery and plate. It was incredibly uncomfortable, presumably for the both of us. I don’t suspect anyone would enjoy watching someone eat for ten minutes.

Then nothing for the rest of the night. Just me, myself and I once again until I eventually drifted into a restless sleep.

Then repeat it all, for however many days I’d be imprisoned there.

I never expected that pattern to change. Not until I fessed up to something I didn’t even know I achieved, or until Moira and whoever else played a part in orchestrating my capture magically dropped dead. The wheel would just continue turning, never to be stopped or transformed.

Until… it was.

One morning, instead of being woken up by a harsh slamming on the door, I was met with a feminine voice. I recognised the accent instantly from hearing Gabriel’s family speak.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty. Thought you might appreciate something a little less bland. Leave it to those gringos to make everything tasteless as hell, right?”

I blinked, forcing my eyes open and rolling over to stare at this new visitor. She was gorgeous; shoulder length hair, kind eyes juxtaposed by a mischievous smirk, and what looked like technology implanted in her skin. Damn… she was really attractive.

“C’mon, up you get. I’m not supposed to just leave it here.” She continued when I failed to roll out of bed.

“Wh… what time is it?” I asked blearily. She was actually talking to me. She was being kind; it was like a glass of cold water on a hot day. So, I figured she’d be willing to at least give me the time.

“It’s about 10am.” She responded, watching as I slowly pushed myself upright and slid onto the floor. “You’re (Y/N), right?” She knelt down, pushing the tray underneath the bars to me. There was a small bowl of fruit salad, a meat bun and a glass of milk. _Oh, I love her already,_ I mused with adoration as I gave her a nod and began to chow down. “You can call me Sombra.” Silence fell in the room as I wordlessly scoffed the entire meal; as expected, it tasted incredible in comparison to the usual stuff they fed me.

“You used to be the head of tech at Overwatch,” she stated, meeting my gaze. What a strange colour her eyes were. “That’s pretty sweet.”

I swallowed, giving a nod. “Yeah. Not as glamorous as you’d think, though.”

She chuckled. “Sitting behind a computer? I know the feeling. That’s why I got these,” she said with a gesture to the tech implants. “Means it’s all inside me now. I can use whatever tech I have whenever I like.”

“It actually looks really cool, too.” I complimented. She smiled.

“Thanks. I think so, too. I get some weird looks though.” Silence fell once again, but not because I was eating. Why was she being so kind to me? Was there something she wanted, or did she pity me? Nevertheless it was appreciated, but the motives would add a few grains of salt to it. So, I voiced my feelings.

“Why are you treating me so nicely?” I said, before wincing at my own words. “That’s not to say I’m not grateful for it, I’m just… I don’t know. Used to cold silence now.”

“Well, if I’m honest…” she furtively glanced over her shoulder, and before I knew what was happening, her hand lit up with a purple glow as she made a few hand gestures. The camera in the top right corner of the room suddenly shut down.

“There’s a couple reasons. Firstly, I feel kinda sorry for you. Moira’s barking up the wrong tree, and she’s not willing to admit it’s her own mistakes. Plus, you’re nice. Why would I be mean to someone nice? Second…” her gaze narrowed and her smile became impish. “You’ve got some valuable information, which makes you a pretty useful ally.”

“But you’re with Talon. That immediately makes you… well, not really an ally I could have. Not a personal thing, just because they kinda kidnapped me and all.” I responded after taking a sip of my milk.

Sombra laughed. “Sure, I might be _with_  Talon. But that doesn’t mean I _am_  Talon. They’re useful allies too, for now. I’m not particularly aligned with their views on stuff. I just wanna survive, y’know?” Her gaze became tinged with remorse. “This world is fucked up. It’s not easy for a girl on her own… you know what I mean, don’t you?”

“Definitely.” I agreed with a sigh. 

“So, here’s what I’m thinking…” she leaned forward, resting her hands on her knees. “How about we make a deal? A truce, of sorts. I continue to make sure your stay here is as comfortable as I can manage, and maybe even… help you out with some things. And you can help me too, when I need it. Sound fair?”

“Anything sounds better than this shit,” I said, gesturing around me at the cell. “Deal.”

“Then it’s agreed.” She reached a delicate hand through the bars, which I promptly took, flashing her a smile. We shook on it, to solidify the pact. “Should probably turn this thing back on.” With a wave of her hand, the camera came back to life. 

“Won’t they see that it was turned off?” I questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

“Nope. I made it so it’d loop the previous ten seconds of footage on their end.” She responded, taking the tray as I pushed it towards her.

“Smart.” I stood as well, only to sit down again on the bed. “I suppose it’s time for my daily interrogation then.” I stated bleakly with a sigh of capitulation.

“I’ll be seeing you in a few hours. Good luck with Moira,” Sombra replied, giving a sympathetic smile. With that, she left me to my fate until we met again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _casually implying one-sided sombra/reader_
> 
> dw reader is just a lil bit bisexual. in case this fic wasn't already self indulgent enough
> 
> also, please commission me if y'all are wanting to commission someone. I don't charge heaps, I do 1 cent per word or $10 per 1000 words, since writing a typical chapter (2000-3000 words) or a oneshot (4000-5000 words in most cases) takes me about a few hours. I can do almost any request, and I write for a large number of fandoms 
> 
> just pls I need money and ya girl is unemployed and studying lol
> 
> anyway, love u all, thanks for reading <3


	12. Chapter 12

Days turned to weeks, and before I knew it, it had been three weeks since Talon abducted me. Thanks to Sombra, my time spent locked away became a lot less boring. Nevertheless a cage is still a cage, and it seemed like I’d be stuck there for the rest of time.

To make matters worse, Gabriel hadn’t even come to see me. Not once since he came to me on my first day there. As the days passed without any sign of him, my fears began to worsen. Too many scenarios to count ran through my brain, to the point where I was finding it hard to sleep again. I would only fall asleep if my exhaustion overwhelmed me to the point of passing out, only to be woken mere hours later. The only thing that kept me sane was my daily visit from my only friend within the Talon base.

That morning, when I finally heard her footsteps and sardonic quips coming down the hall, I sat up straight for the first time since waking up hours earlier. My head was pounding and my back muscles felt as if they’d shrivel. But I finally set myself straight and prepared myself mentally for a very risky conversation.

As soon as she opened the door, lunch tray in her right hand and token smirk on her lips, I was already struggling with what to say.

“Morning, amiga,” she greeted in her usual upbeat tone as she pushed the door closed behind her.

“Hi,” I responded, tired eyes tracing her movements as she pushed the food tray beneath the bars and into my cell.

As she straightened up again, she cocked an eyebrow. “Sounding a little rough there.”

“Yeah, I’m… _really_ tired.”

I was met with a chuckle. “I suppose that’s to be expected.”

We sat in silence as I slowly worked my way through the bowl of warm oatmeal and honey she’d brought me today. It wasn’t an awkward silence; in fact, the silences that had been forming between us of late were very comfortable. Or maybe they had just become too familiar. I’d long since stopped having anything new to talk about; it’s not very eventful on the inside of a cell.

Perhaps I would die here. Perhaps Moira would keep me forever not because she continued to believe I was useful, but just out of pure spite. I didn’t doubt that she would take special satisfaction in knowing I’d never feel the sun again, and I’d never have my happy ending.

That was what triggered my sudden boost of resolve. For the first time since I began shovelling oatmeal into my mouth, my gaze snapped to meet Sombra’s. She had been watching me steadily, and her eyes bore into my own. 

“Can you… um…” I whispered, my eyes flicking momentarily to the surveillance camera. With a knowing smirk, she tapped at the air and a glowing purple holographic display came to life at her fingertips. I’d seen it before, but it never ceased to amaze me. Within seconds, the display shut off and I could only just faintly see the purple aura-like glow around the camera. Now, we could talk in private.

“I want to- no, I _need_ to get out of here.” Despite the fact that we were off the record, I instinctively kept my voice down. Could never be too careful in a place like that. “It’s driving me nuts. There’s nothing I can possibly do to get it through Moira’s head that I don’t know anything. I don’t even have access to old Overwatch files about Gabe, they were all destroyed.” With a huff of frustration, my head dropped into my outstretched hands. “I don’t know what to do,” I muttered into my hands.

“What if I said I could help you get out of here?” She leaned forward slightly, her voice a mere whisper. Through my fingers, I could see that mischievous glint in her eye, and I felt a rush of relief. Good news for me, bad news for Talon. “For a price, of course.”

Possibly bad news for me as well, but my priority was escaping. I’d worry about any betrayals later.

“I would thank you profusely, and take you up on that offer.” I raised my head and met her gaze with a smile. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to know if Moira has any reports from her time experimenting on Gabriel, would you?”

“Only one way to find out for sure.” With that, she stood, picking up my empty lunch tray. “I’ll see you at lunchtime. Maybe I’ll bring something real special for you.”

“I look forward to it.” She sent me a sly smile over her shoulder as she lifted her hack from the camera, and left the room without another word.

-

I underestimated Sombra’s attention to detail, I found as she returned to give me lunch and explained her plan to me. She was a mastermind with a special penchant for exposing weaknesses, and part of me admired that.

First, she was going to bring me a keycard, a knife with dinner along with some sort of buzzer similar to an earpiece, I didn’t understand the words she used to describe it. Then, when that buzzer signalled after dinner, it meant she had disabled the security systems. She told me it would take an hour at best for the other techs to figure out something was wrong and fix it. Which gave me an hour to get out of my cell and find my first destination:

Moira’s office.

I would use the keycard to get into her office and ransack absolutely everything. Of course, the main objective was to find all of her dossiers on Gabriel and her experimentation (and also take back all of my stuff), but it would bring me a sick joy to fuck up something in her stupidly neat life. Then I would continue down from her office and take two lefts and a right, which would take me to the place where all the technicians and engineers tested and stored prototypes. From there, I could jack anything I wanted and hope to everything I call holy that it worked for long enough to get me out of there.

After explaining her elaborate plan to me, I was left with an overwhelming sense of sudden melancholy. Even though I’d finally be getting free thanks to her kindness (or, more suitably, her deal with me which would inevitably benefit her), it was almost emotional. I’d made a friend, and now I’d lose her.

“So, what do you think? You up for that?” She pressed, sitting forward to prompt a response from me.

“It’s… well, it’s smarter than anything I’d be able to come up with.” Words failed me again, and I found myself staring off into the grey concrete nothingness below me. “… Thank you. For all this.”

“Don’t mention it, chica. I’m just looking out for a fellow girl.” She reached forward through the bars and placed her hand gently on top of mine. I looked up into her eyes and saw… something truly genuine. For a moment, I saw plain and simple sentiment behind her cheeky façade. I felt my angst melt away.

“We’ll see each other again, right?” I asked tentatively, worrying that this would take it further from just business than she was comfortable with. To my surprise (and joy), she didn’t shrink away from it like I thought she would. Instead, she smiled.

“You can count on it.”

-

Every hour feels like a day passing by when you’re waiting. Even more so when you’re waiting to try pull off the most dangerous mission you’d ever been assigned.  
I discovered this the hard way while I slowly waited for dinner to roll around. With every moment that ticked by, another premonition of how my escape could go horribly, terribly wrong flashed through my mind.

When Sombra finally came and left for the last time with nothing but a cryptic farewell and a knowing smirk as a goodbye, I found it hard to actually take the key card she smuggled to me in my hand and unlock the cell door once I heard the telling beep from her earpiece.

_Deep breaths. One after the other._

I stood up from the lumpy, coarse mattress I’d gotten used to over my time in captivity, nudging the empty dinner tray aside with my foot. Everything Sombra had brought in for me was secured on my person; the knife was tucked inside my boot and the key card was locked in the tight grip of my thumb and forefinger.

I reached through the bars and fumbled for the locking mechanism, gripping the cold steel with one hand and the key card in the other. I held it down to the card reader and waited for the lock to deactivate.

A heavy click sounded, and I tentatively pushed the door open. A rush of excitement hit as I finally saw the other side of the room _without_ being behind a set of bars. I didn’t spare even one final look at the cell that had become my home before swiping the key card past the next door’s reader and stepping out into the hall.

I kept my footsteps light and silent, my senses becoming more alert at the threat of being discovered. I crept along the hallway, clinging close to the wall and keeping my eyes peeled and ears open for any threats.

It became infuriatingly clear quite quickly that Talon were inconveniently not the type of organisation to have maps lying around their compound. Not that I was particularly expecting them to be; it’d be hilariously out of character for it to be set up like a shopping mall.

Unfortunately, it seemed I had only luck on my side to find my way out – and my luck had been failing me miserably at every opportunity.

After a solid twenty minutes of not finding anything that resembled a scientific research laboratory, I was starting to get desperate. Sombra made it abundantly clear that I only had an hour to escape if I was lucky. Then, when all hope seemed lost, I happened past the very first room that hadn’t been pitch black.

Through the tiny window in the door, the holographic glow of an operational holovid glared out at me, filling the vicinity with a gentle neon light. I skidded to a halt and peered inside (mostly out of pure curiosity). The moment my eyes landed upon a cabinet filled with what looked like science-y apparatus, my hand was fumbling blindly for the card reader.

I burst into the room, hardly able to restrain myself from slamming the door shut behind me. My eyes studied what was actually visible in the dull neon glow filling the room as I gently pushed the door closed and flicked on the lights. At first glance, it just looked like a regular old science lab. It was right at that moment that I was hit with the random realisation that Talon probably had more than one scientist within their massive multinational organisation.

“Fuck.” I pressed my lips together into a thin line. If I had to search twenty labs in and out for any sign of Moira, I’d be there for hours. I didn’t have hours; at that point, I had mere minutes.

It was still worth a quick check though. I darted behind the desk, eyes training on the holovid to find it was simply processing some data. I quickly tabbed out of it to view the contents, quickly scanning each document tag with my eyes as I scrolled through endless amounts of blueprints, reports and photos. Just as it started to seem pointless, something caught my eye.

The file name was ‘GABRIEL – 01’. It was a video file. There were more following it with sequentially increasing numbers. Jackpot. There was no way this wasn’t Moira’s work space at some point.

I recall her having an aversion to keeping reports digitally only; she was quite traditional in her practices, ironically enough. She didn’t trust a network so easily accessed by those with enough time and resources. Being the head of tech, I was very often reminded of that.

If she didn’t keep her reports digitally, then where would she keep them?

The answer was sitting right behind me in the form of a filing cabinet. The moment I turned around, the realisation clicked and I immediately began rifling through it. It didn’t take long to flick through the C section and find a chunky file with a label reading ‘cell displacement’. _Perfect!_ I pulled it out and without even checking the contents, tucked it safely under my arm.

I checked through the rest of the cabinet to find nothing else relating to Gabriel and his condition. It seemed like a stupidly small amount of documentation for such a substantial experiment, but I didn’t have any more time to waste. Surely what I had found would be enough; it had to be.

I skimmed the room with my eyes one last time, hand resting on the door handle. This was quite possibly my last opportunity to obtain any evidence. If only I had more time.  
With a deep, steeling breath, I pushed the door open and took two steps out into the hallway before I realised immediately that something was off.

The air was cold, and quiet. Too quiet. The silence wasn’t comfortable and still anymore; it was foreboding. My heart hammered in my chest, filling my ears with the deafening thumps. I began fumbling for the knife in my boot, yanking it out and holding it close to my chest defensively. Part of me wanted to turn around and lock myself in the lab, but I’d end up right back in that cell; possibly even for life.

I had no choice but to run.

Sparing not one more moment, I turned on my heel to begin hurrying down the hall. I should’ve expected by then to run straight into him, but it still sent a terrifying chill lancing down my spine at the sight of him. 

My feet froze to the ground and I physically shrunk back. He was directly in my path; there was no way to get past him. A cold stone of dread dropped, sinking deep into my stomach. All of my efforts had been in vain. He was going to lock me back up in that cell, even if he didn’t want to himself.

The few moments of silence following were as excruciating as years of torture. The cold, dense lifelessness hung in the air heavily, weighing down onto my spine more with every moment. My eyes fixed on him, unable to be torn away from his bulky form. He was leaning against the wall, a leg propped up against the dull concrete walls. He looked so relaxed; so casual for someone that most likely had orders to kill me on sight in the case I escaped. Finally, the low, gravelly hum of his voice broke through the torturous quietness.

“You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question as much as it was a statement; blunt and conceding.

“You’re not going to try and stop me?” I could hardly force my voice out; the question coming out as more of a shaky mumble than an actual statement.

“Is that an invitation?” He cocked his head and I could feel his gaze burning into me even through the mask.”

“No. I would much prefer to escape without fighting you.” I gripped the knife and files tighter, holding them close to me. “Please…”

Wordlessly, he pushed himself up from his position leaning on the wall and took a single step towards me. _Thump._ Was that my heart or his heavy footsteps? _Thump._ It was hard to tell. With every second, he got closer, but I couldn’t bring myself to run or attack. Regardless of all he’d done to me, I…

I just couldn’t find it in my heart to even try to retaliate. Not anymore. 

He was almost within arm’s reach of me. I braced for impact and my breath caught in my throat as my heart began to hammer even faster in my chest. I could take whatever he could throw at me. I was sure of it.

Instead of the throbbing sting of a blow, what I felt on my face was a leather glove, and the tip of a steel claw resting gently upon my cheek. I opened my eyes, which I never realised I even squeezed shut, and stared wordlessly up at his bone white mask. Ever so slowly, he reached up to his own face with his other hand and with a soft click, the mask fell away. He didn’t even bother to put it down gently; he unceremoniously dropped it, and it fell with a loud clank that echoed throughout the hallway.

His features weren’t drawn together in the seemingly permanent scowl he usually had. Instead, his gaze was… soft. Forgiving. Warm. He almost looked like an entirely different person to the man I’d been getting tormented by for the last few months or so.

My heart split open and poured out when my eyes met his. My grip on the knife loosened, and before I could get a grip on myself, I flung it and the files to the ground and leapt into his arms. I pressed myself into his body, finding a non-existent warmth in being in his arms. His cold arms, which lacked the warmth a living human heart gave. Yet I couldn’t have been in a more comfortable place than right there in that moment.

“Come with me,” I begged. I never wanted to let go of him but I knew I had to in order to escape. Maybe that was his plan of getting me to stay. It was almost bloody working. “We can… we can go home. Together.” I implored, pulling my face away to gaze up at him with wide eyes. “Don’t you want that?”

“I…” His words trailed off into cold silence. He looked torn; almost like he had no idea what to say or do. Like he didn’t even know what he wanted to say or do. “… can’t.” He finished eventually, heaving a sigh.

My gaze dropped. I had half expected that answer, but it still stung. “… Okay.” I murmured, my eyes cast downward. With one clawed finger, he gently tilted my chin up and pressed his lips into mine. They were as soft as they’d ever been; no less cold than the rest of his defective body, but his kiss still filled me with a warmth that no fire could ever replace.

Like all things, it had to end. He pulled away from me, leaning down to pick up the files I’d dropped. “I won’t ask where you got these.” He held them out to me.

“Good idea.” I took them from his grasp, staring up at him in dumbfounded silence as I tried to figure out what the hell I could even say at a moment like this. ‘See you later’ seemed like too little, but ‘goodbye’ felt like too much. Too much pain. I didn’t want to acknowledge that there was entirely a chance we’d never see each other again. “You’ll find me, won’t you?” My voice came out a cracked, feeble whisper. Something came over his face that I hadn’t seen in what felt like an eternity; something warm, something promising.

A smile.

“I always do.” He promised. He took my face in his gloved hand one last time as he visibly struggled with what to say.

We were both dealing with that issue, it seemed. “I love you,” I blurted. “You don’t have to say it back. Just… please never forget that.”

I didn’t want to hear the silence. Without saying one more word, I tore myself from his grip and pushed on past him towards the exit. As I walked away, I felt tears build in my eyes. _Not now._

I didn’t turn back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who could've predicted it? I'm not dead!
> 
> Sorry for my absence. I went through, uh, Some Things(TM) and my motivation is struggling. I can't stand the thought of not contributing to the fandom or being productive for extended periods of time, so while this chapter is longer to compensate for me going AWOL, the quality is probably really really awful because I admit I rushed it A LOT. I just wanted to get something out, yknow?
> 
> Maybe I'll do a rewrite of this chapter down the track.
> 
> As always, thank you for taking the time to read my trash today. Much love always <3 I hope to see you again soon


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